My Ten Year Love Affair


How do I even start to explain how I had an affair? How do I explain how my heart was captured and held captive for almost ten years? It’s very difficult and heartbreaking to delve into. There is not an easy way to explain it; you just have to do it, so here is my attempt.

I first laid my eyes on her one sunny April day back in 2004 in San Antonio, TX. She was what I called at the time the four B’s. Big, Black, Bold, and Beautiful! No other words were needed to describe her. She was all that and more. What every man could ever want and need. Just one glance at her and she had you. She was a real head turner; no matter where we went over the years people had their heads on a swivel trying to get a better look at her.

We would walk into a room and everyone would stop, stare, and then move towards us. She attracted the meekest of children to the most powerful of men. I guess you could say she was captivating. She was not only beautiful but also very intelligent with a huge vocabulary, one that would impress even the staunchest of doubters. Oh how I fell for her, hook, line, and sinker! This is not to say she didn’t have her faults, just as we all do. She could overeat and when she drank she slobbered. Her flatulence could kill an army, but her kisses always left you feeling good about her, which further captivated my heart. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds through many experiences, some difficult and painful, some so beautiful they defy description. One such memory I have of her is when my granddaughter, Tori, was learning to read. The two them would sit on the living room floor with books spread out everywhere. Tori would say, “I read you, I read you!” And she would watch Tori lovingly with the interest of a mother watching her child blossom.

Memories galore flash through my mind now. Oh how dearly I loved her. We shared so much together. She was such a big part of my life; she was with me for births, deaths, joys, and sorrows. The biggest joy for me was her instinctual ability to know when I needed her. She had a sense about her and knew when it was time to soothe, to protect, to defend, and when to love. What a joy to have her in my life but as things go through a natural progression there is a time when you have to say goodbye. As hard as it is to let go, you know in your heart and soul that you must, it is the right thing to do!

This is what I will always have in my mind’s eye as a memory. When she was young she would lay on the floor with her legs spread out before her and place her head down. Those big black eyes would follow you around, head never moving just those two big beautiful eyes following! So on February 1, 2014 she laid her head down between those gorgeous legs and went to sleep for eternity. Heartbroken but ever so thankful that she and I got to experience the greatest sorrows and joys of my life together. What a blessing she was in my life and my family’s life, adding so much and asking so little in return. I will miss you and love you forever. I want you to know that I appreciated every moment God granted us together. Goodbye my sweet baby Chloe!

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