Seek the Next Level of You Through Storytelling and Body Language with Holley Mignosi

 

 

Listen to the podcast here:

 

Highlights:

01:44 “I Will Never Feel This Way Again” 
11:34 Change Starts with a Decision
20:24 The 2 Most Powerful Things That Can Change How You Feel
22:45 The Power of Storytelling 
29:37 Body Language- The Door to Understanding
32:01 What Your Body Language Says About You 
40:34 The Body Language of the Lips
46:47 How to Know If Someone’s Flirting With You
54:17 How To Be A Better Story-Teller
01:01:53 How to Share Your Story As An Expert 
01:06:58 Seek the Next Level of You

 

Resources:

Book
The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters by Andy Andrews 
The Traveller’s Gift: Seven Decisions That Determine Personal Success by Andy Andrews

Holley’s Free Gift
Top 15 Hottest Hand Gestures To Boost Your Charisma

What does your storytelling and body language say about you? Join @myexpectation and Holley Mignosi in a fun and exciting conversation and learn how to share your story like an expert! #bodylanguage #storytelling #alpha-ism #fitness #courtship… Click To Tweet

Quotes:

“I’m the only thing I can control.” -Holley Mignosi

“The two most powerful things that we have in our control to change how we feel is our physicality and our breathing.” -Holley Mignosi

“When you pivot, it’s just all you’re doing is moving in the direction you were meant to be.” -Art Costello 

“The more we live, the more stories we have.” -Art Costello 

“Part of our survival is to connect and to understand and to feel understood as well.” -Holley Mignosi

“If I were to die tomorrow, I’ve done everything I wanted to do.” -Art Costello 

“If you’re sharing a story from the place of an expert… make sure that you have clearly resolved whatever you’re sharing.” -Holley Mignosi

“We want to use our story to help others; we don’t want to be used by our story.”-Holley Mignosi

“Know that your prayers are heard and your dreams will be fulfilled.” -Holley Mignosi

 

Meet Holley:

Holley Mignosi is the CEO of The Dynamic Dream Life Group, Inc. She helps others increase their impact through the art of hypnotic body language and the neuroscience of story-telling. Holley is recognized as one of the top Embodiment Coaches in her role as a Speaker, Speaking Coach, Storyteller, and Body Language Expert. As a former modelling and acting coach and fitness trainer, she bags over a decade of experience and a number of certifications that makes her effective in the field. Her mission is to help individuals manifest their charisma and tap into their “Signature Star Power”. 
Website
Facebook 
Instagram 
LinkedIn

Transcription:

Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies Podcast. Today I am honored, and thrilled, and excited to have Holley Mignosi on my show. She is a Speaker, Storyteller, Body Language Expert. Holly helps speakers and experts increase their influence and impact through the art of hypnotic body language and neuroscience of storytelling. Holly is on a mission to help experts share their signature story and express their life purpose with passion, presence, and power. As a former modeling and acting coach for over 15 years, Holly imparts experts with proven charisma skills, storytelling techniques, and uncovers hidden talents tapping into their Signature Star Power on stage. Holly is the CEO and founder of the Dynamic Dream Life Group, INC. She holds multiple certifications in mindset and physicality specialties such as Neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, hypnotic presentation skills, and other long words, it’s how really cool that Art stumbles over. Anyway, Holly, welcome to the show and it is an honor to have you here.

Holley Mignosi: Oh, it’s an honor to be here. Thank you so much, Art, I’m excited.

Art Costello: I know some of Holley’s story, and her story is literally so inspiring. I heard her at the New Media Summit in which just taken to her and had to have her on the show because our storytelling on this show is just fits into everything she does, but her story is incredible. Can you tell us your story, Holley?

Holley Mignosi: Oh, thank you Art. It would be an absolute honor, and I consider it a real privilege to be able to share my story. My story is probably a little bit of a train wreck for those of you that are out there listening. So let me just pre-frame with that. I couldn’t stop using cocaine because if I did, I would lose my job. I was 22 years old, living in my hometown of Sacramento, and I was living my dream life. I loved what I was doing. I was modeling and acting by day, and seeing fashion shows, and I was modeling in runway shows and then at night, I was working for one of the top modeling and acting companies, and I was an image coach, self-development coach, runaway coach, fashion, commercial, print, TV, all that for all ages, and I was really feeling like, gosh, this is so fun. I’m helping people, I’m making a difference, and I’m doing what I love until the day all that changed. And that’s when my boss gathered all of us runaway coaches into a room, and he announced that he was taking the company global, like international. He wanted to be the absolute, his company be number one in the globe, and that meant that all of us, we needed to look like celebrity models. And I knew right there that that was a problem for me because I wasn’t really fitting into the celebrity model standard, I guess you could say. Most celebrity models and actors, they’re 5″9, 5″10, and I was only 5″8. And they have very specific measurements, bust, hips and waist. And he pulled out a measuring tape and started measuring all of us publicly in front of each other. And he measured the first model, and I knew she was going to end up being perfect, she was. And then he called up the second model and she was also absolutely right in the zone, her measurements were perfect. And then he called on me, and he measured my bust and waist, and that was okay, and then he got to my hips, and they were not one, not two, not three, but four inches too big. Now to you and I right now where somebody listening, that may sound like a big deal, but in the modeling and acting industry, it is everything. It literally meant I was fat. And that’s what he told me. And that’s what he said publicly in front of my peers, my coworkers, and he turned away from me and looked at everybody else and said, if you have this problem, you better fix it or you’re out, you’re fired. And instantly I felt shame and guilt, and I felt like I was the bad apple of the bunch.

Everybody else was quote unquote perfect and I was not, and I loved what I was doing, and I really didn’t want to leave what I was doing. So I made a decision like most of us do when we’re in a moment of deep pain and we decide I will never feel this again. And I went on an absolute mission to figure out how am I going to get my body smaller now, I was about 5″8, and I was also about a size four. So I was already pretty small, and I exercised, and I ran, and I would work out, and I started restricting my diet, and started consuming less and less calories, and I just couldn’t get those inches off, until I went to a party. And someone I worked with gave me a little bag of white powder, and she said: “Here, try this.” And it was cocaine, and you know that stuff is really effective for weight loss, just boom, it just melted right off. And all of a sudden, I could go to work, and I would walk down the halls, and all of a sudden I was getting compliments like, Hey, Holley, looking pretty good. And then my boss would give me accolades for my new sleek physique. And I thought, okay, I made it, I’ve arrived. But everyday, even though others were telling me I looked good on the outside, I felt ugly on the inside. Like I knew I was a fraud, and I knew that if I quit, all that weight would come back and I would be right back where I started. And so, it was the cycle like I would use, and then quit for awhile, and then use, and then quit for a while. But I use off and on for 10 years, that’s a long time.

Art Costello: It’s a long time.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah. And I got lucky. I had a couple close calls with just being dangerous or just being not sober, things happen. You just make bad decisions. Then eventually, I moved to San Diego, and I decided I wanted to start a family. I met someone, we got married, I got pregnant, and I quit. Thank God I was able to quit while I was pregnant, and while she was little, because no one expects you to be skinny while you’re pregnant. So it was like, okay, no big deal, I’m done. And then by the time she was two, we started having some problems in our marriage, and then he and I started using together, and we actually had a live-in nanny, so it was unfortunate, but we could actually go out and party all weekend, and our daughter would stay with our live-in nanny. And then one day, things got really dangerous. I’ll never forget, I came home from a night of partying, and there was my blonde hair, blue white ball of sunshine right at the door. It was like 6:00 in the morning, and she looked it up at us and said: “Mommy, Daddy, where have you been? Play with me.” And so he kind of looked at me and went: “I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted.” And I looked at her, half out of guilt and half out of love, I said: “Yeah, I’ll play with you.” Even though I was so tired. And so we sat down together, and we played tea party, and I got really thirsty so I got up and I went to the kitchen, and when I came back, she was gone, and I went into her bedroom and she wasn’t there, her bathroom and she wasn’t there, and I looked down my hallway, the door was open just a few inches, and I just knew something bad was happening.

You know you get that feeling, you don’t know how, you know that you just know something’s happening. And as I opened up the door, there was my baby girl with her little pink tutu sitting on the floor, holding my drugs on her hands. And I looked over at my husband and he was asleep, and it was like all the sudden, I was just in shock, and I ran to her, I checked her mouth, she hadn’t consumed anything, she hadn’t even opened anything, I must have gotten there just in time. I mean, it was divine timing for real, and all of a sudden I got this like divine download and I saw my life flashed in front of me, and I thought came to me, what if I didn’t get here in time? What if she had consumed something? What if I had to call 911? What if they called CPS? What if our daughter was taken away from us because both of us were using. And then all of a sudden I saw her at maybe 18, 19, 20 years old in foster care, coming out of foster care, never having a mom and dad. And then, what if the worst thing happens and he ended up like me? And she was using. And so in that exact moment, like all this happened in like seconds, and in that exact moment, I decided I need to change now. And I looked at my husband sleeping and then this booming voice said, girl, not him, it’s going to be you. I’m like, okay, I get it, I get it. I’m the only thing I can control, and I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I knew I needed to quit three things. I needed to quit drugs. I needed to quit my job. And I needed to quit my marriage all at the same time, and I had no idea how I was going to do it.

“I'm the only thing I can control.” -Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Or you went from the fire right back into the fire pan.

Holley Mignosi: It sounds that way. You would think. Yeah.

Art Costello: You know what? These events in our lives when they happen are meant to teach us, and they are meant to motivate us to do something. Often people who are in your situation, because I’m a drug and alcohol counselor and had been through many times with addicts, and cocaine addicts, and all that. When they get to these positions and situations, they turn their back on it, and say, I’m not going to do. I think you had the fortitude to carry it out and move on and become, and I want the audience to know that that’s not an easy thing to do.

Holley Mignosi: No.

Art Costello: And can you tell us a little bit about how you did it?

Holley Mignosi: Yes. In that moment, I really thought, I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but it starts with a decision. Number one, and we’ve heard this in like goal setting and things like that that you just decide, I am absolutely going to do this.

Art Costello: Because I write so much about expectations and I believe in it, and there is a big difference between goal setting and expectations. I think you set an expectation for yourself that you were going to walk and become clean.

Holley Mignosi: I would agree, and I had to. I couldn’t do it for me cause I tried to quit before for me, but I could do it for her. She became my why.

Art Costello: Yeah. But still I think there was a part of you that said to yourself, I can do this, and that you set up an expectation of yourself. When you set up an expectation in yourself, it is so much harder to walk away from it than it is setting a goal. A goal, we do it, see it happen all the time. People set goals for themselves. We don’t make it. Oh, it’s okay. All that, and that’s one of the things about all this trophy. Everybody gets a trophy thing, it kind of gets everybody to the position of, well, everybody does it. It’s okay. It’s a goal that we all reached, blah, blah. Instead of setting the expectation to become all that you can be, and I believe that that’s what you did. You actually said, I’m better than this. I want this for me. I want this for my family. Because it takes a lot of strength to walk away from a marriage, a career, and then the addiction all at the same time. And I would actually say that there’s very few people that walk the face of the earth, Holley, that have done it except you. So be proud, be proud.

Holley Mignosi: Thank you for that. I actually had no idea, the undertaking that I was committing to at that moment. Yeah, one of those things by itself would have been enough to throw anybody into anxiety and panic. And if you’ve ever been through a divorce, and if you’re listening, and you’ve had to quit your job and find something new, or if you’ve quit any addiction, whether it’s gambling, or drugs, I mean it’s, it’s hard but I didn’t do it by myself. I had support, and so that’s the other thing that I would say, for others, and it’s kind of interesting because I was really shameful. I thought nobody knew about my drug addiction except for the people that I was using drugs with, and I didn’t want anyone to know. To me, one of the things that I’d always dreamt about as a child is I wanted to be a great mom. I was really looking forward to having kids, and playing, and having that unconditional love, and creating magic memories. And I could see myself slipping down the slippery slope of like, who am I? This isn’t me.

Art Costello: When you set that expectation as a child that you are going to be a great mother, there’s where the expectation came back in that you landed on.

Holley Mignosi: Absolutely. I would agree with that.

Art Costello: Yeah. It’s amazing when we set childhood expectations, and even though we don’t call them that, but we do set them up in our heads, and once we start living life and we fall back on them when we really need to, they are so powerful about moving us through and beyond what our wildest dreams are.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it was two things, I was thinking and imagining the joy of what my life could be when I changed as something I was moving towards like a carrot, but it was also the stick. I definitely used kind of metaphorically the carrot and the stick to move myself or propel myself forward because I had cravings. I mean, there were lots of times where I was clean for months and then something would trigger me, and my brain would start planning, okay, who knew, I know? How could I get some? And where could I hide it? And how could I do it so nobody knows. And just this little bit and it won’t, you know, I’m in control now. And all of those things that the stories that we say to justify what it is that we want to do in that moment. So I really had to set myself between two pillars, so to speak, two moving pillars. One, the carrot, and one the stick that were moving me forward. And I quit drugs, quit my job, filed for divorce and decided I need a total mindset shift because I started exercise again, running, and eating healthy. But I knew I was just kind of wacko in my mind. I needed help mentally and I did not, I didn’t even think I qualified for narcotics anonymous or something like that. I thought, Oh, I’m not that bad. I can handle it myself. That’s what I thought. So I thought, but I do need help. And I had actually gone through lots of personal development training. I had gone through Tony Robbins coach to be a coach for Tony Robbins and all kinds of other certifications. So I knew the power of coaching, and I hired a personal trainer. I was like, I want to get my mind straight. I want to keep my body healthy. I need someone to hold me accountable. I’m going to hire a personal trainer, I need to move. I’m one of those people that physically just needs to get the emotion out, whatever that emotion is. And I met someone who was tall, dark, and handsome. His name was Tom the trainer. He was highly motivating to come see every week. I was newly single, and like okay, this is easy to do now.

Art Costello: Well, I imagine he wasn’t too disappointed either. Holley, you’re not hard on the eyes.

Holley Mignosi: That’s very sweet. Thank you. I’m sure I gave him a run for his money though. I was probably kind of a pill at that time to work with, but we started training together, and he knew some of my story. Not all of it. He knew a little bit because I was kind of ashamed, I didn’t want people to know, but I said: “I need a new job.” And he said: “You’re kind of good at this working out thing.” And I said: “Yeah, I know a thing or two about health or fitness, been doing it for awhile.” Thought for a while, but I’m back on it. And he said: “Maybe you should start thinking about being a trainer.” So I got certified to be a personal trainer, and then five to six other fitness certifications, and within four months of knowing each other, he and I opened up a personal training studio together.

Art Costello: Wow.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah. And then very quickly, our passion for health and fitness turned into a passion for each other. And we’re actually married today.

Art Costello: That’s a beautiful story.

Holley Mignosi: Thank you. Yeah. After three years, we got married after knowing each other for about three years.

Art Costello: Now, the only thing you can top it with is, tell me you got married overlooking La Jolla Cove.

Holley Mignosi: Close, and Encinitas, it’s very close.

Art Costello: Very, very close.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah. You’re psychic to, Art. Yeah.

Art Costello: No, I used to live in the ocean beach, and La Jolla has been my dream to have a home overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I mean, that’s been my thing.

Holley Mignosi: Yes. Yes. We are very fortunate living, I live here in San Diego, but you’re very close. We got married probably for those of you that don’t know the area, that’s about 20 minutes from La Jolla. So we did get married right on the cliff on the ocean, overlooking the ocean, you’re right.

Art Costello: And Encinitas is probably as beautiful as La Jolla, if not more, that whole Solana Beach, Encinitas.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah, the vibe is very, very chilly, very earthy, very relaxing, very health conscious. Yeah. Very much people like you and I. Absolutely.

Art Costello: Tell us the rest of the story, how you’ve got into being a coach for Neurolinguistic, there was my tongue again.

Holley Mignosi: Just the word itself is a doozy. Yes.

Art Costello: A speaker storytelling, and really, what I’m interested in is the body language expert, because body language says so much about who we are and really subconsciously what’s going on in us.

Holley Mignosi: You’re absolutely right. Our body is talking to 100% of the time. And if it’s not talking to other people, it’s talking to us. It’s telling us, I can tell you as a fitness trainer, people come in with aches and pains, and no, I feel good today, or I’m not so good today. Your body is talking to you and others a hundred percent of the time. And what I didn’t know at the time and didn’t realize when I was a fitness trainer is how all of years of stage work, and working with people on stage, and training actors and models to ACE their 32nd interview. So for those of you that don’t know, or if you’re listening in the audience, if you have some experience, when you’re a model or an actor and you go to an audition, you may have anywhere from 10 seconds to 30 seconds for them to say, I like you, you’re what I want, you’re it. So you’ve got to be able to turn on internally. That’s your emotions, your psychology, your body language, all of it. And it turns on before you enter the room. Years of training people to do that so they could ACE their auditions and have that IT FACTORS, so to speak, really started priming me. And when I started really collaborating that with what I learned out of health and fitness, and I’ve trained women in health and fitness, and they would come in feeling kind of down. I’d have them start doing some exercises. Their posture would be up. And a lot of my job as a trainer is to correct someone’s physicality, the way they’re holding their body and their breathing. The two most powerful things that we have in our control to change how we feel is our physicality and our breathing. And that’s what I did for 15 years to help women feel empowered.

“The two most powerful things that we have in our control to change how we feel is our physicality and our breathing.” -Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet

And at some point I realized I love this but I want to reach more people. I don’t want to stay in just a brick and mortar. I love my business. I love what my husband and I have together, but I want to go out and I run to reach more women. So I started studying, speaking again, because I thought I was going to take the stage as a health and fitness coach, and a health and fitness speaker. That’s what I thought I was going to do. So I started going to the top speaking gurus, Brendon Burchard, and of course I’d spent years with Tony Robbins, but I wanted to know who was in the mix now. So I started learning from Bowie Zinn, who’s a fabulous coach on storytelling, Roger Love, who does voice control, Brendon Burchard, Chalene Johnson, and these major speakers. And I started to notice that some people have fantastic content, yet their content and what they were sharing just wasn’t exciting. It wasn’t invigorating, it wasn’t entertaining. And then other people could share one or two pieces of content, barely, not much at all, but their delivery was so dynamic. And I thought, gosh, this is captivating to me. What is it about these two types of people, someone that knows so much about their expertise but just isn’t nailing in on stage, they’re not connecting with the audience. And then somebody else who is vibrant and energetic, and they just know how to break that fourth wall and get connected with the audience. So I started researching storytelling, and I started researching body language. Those two things I was really drawn to, and it just took off from there. And I remember at one point I realized, Oh, my gosh, I’m pivoting. I’m switching from a love of health and fitness to really this, I’m falling in love with experts who want to change the world. Experts like you are, who want to get your voice out and help other people like me share the message to really make a global transformational change. And I started to feel this new level of inspiration and motivation. And I thought, once again, I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I think I’m going to pivot from fitness over to working with experts on their story and their body language.

Art Costello: It’s more in my head, this is going 999 miles an hour right now. My first question is, do you think that there’s natural storytellers?

Holley Mignosi: Absolutely.

Art Costello: When I speak sometimes, I get, I don’t want to say guilty because I never get guilty, but I don’t feel great because I always make the audience cry.

Holley Mignosi: Cause you move them.

Art Costello: Yeah. My storytelling usually is about my journey of abandonment and living the greatest life that I ever dreamt that I was going to have, and then losing my wife in 2006 to ovarian cancer, and my world completely collapsing. But it’s a story of resilience, and transition, and belief in having, always having the expectation that everything is going to work out just the way it was meant to be. You talked about pivoting, well, I believe that when you pivot it’s just all you’re doing is moving in the direction you were meant to be and it just keeps you going. But my storytelling, I’ve never had any professional training as a speaker and everything. I speak from my heart and it is what it is. I just go with it.

“When you pivot, it's just all you're doing is moving in the direction you were meant to be.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Holley Mignosi: Well, storytelling is part of us as a human species. It’s something we’ve done for over 150,000 years, experts estimate, as a way of teaching, as a way of keeping our history before we could even read and write, we would convey stories and use pictures to share stories, and to teach. And we would share stories of, this is how you go out and capture a woolly mammoth, and this is how you stay clear of these tigers. And so, we would tell stories that would be somewhat dramatic. And I think at some point we learned that the more vivid the story, the more we can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, smell it, and the more it has an emotion to it, whether the emotion is a high or a low emotion, it seems to stick. It’s more sticky. It sticks in our memory bank. So we would do that with our children. And any of those of you that are listening that have kids, you probably tell your kids stories cause you’re like, I really want you to get this. And sometimes we might make it a little more scary than we need to cause we really want them to be safe, or we make it more exciting because we really want them to move towards that thing that we’re talking about. So it’s part of our wiring really.

Art Costello: The more we live, the more stories we have. I mean–

“The more we live, the more stories we have.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Holley Mignosi: Absolutely.

Art Costello: –and I don’t mean living in length. I mean, living life. I mean, because I’ve always done everything that I’ve wanted to do. I mean, I’ve played semi-pro baseball, I worked in the entertainment field, I worked for José Feliciano in Orange, California, scouting new talent all over the world, I went to Vegas all the time, I went to Austin, Texas, that’s how I found it. I mean, I used to travel all over the world looking for talent and signing them to contracts. And so, I’ve got a massive amount, I mean, I could tell you stories about Vegas with Don Rickles, and Frank Sinatra, and Sammy Davis Jr. I used to hang with them, I’m showing my age. But when you have those kinds of stories, one thing my wife said to me when she first met me, this is my new wife, we’ve been married nine years. When she first met me, she thought this guy’s the biggest slow to BS I’ve ever heard. He could possibly have done all this stuff until she started really understanding that it’s just the way it was. But the difference about it is, my late wife, she couldn’t stand it, it literally couldn’t stand it. She was a San Diego girl, and she was so steeped in people working nine to five, having security, working 30 years, collecting your retirement, living happily ever after. Not me. You know? I mean, I guess it’s what attracted me to her and her to me, but I’m off the wall and you got something to do, let’s go do it. You know, let’s go live it.

Holley Mignosi: I love that. Maybe you two are like bookends, just really balancing each other out. I read a great quote that really stuck with me recently. Let’s see if I can say it correctly. I read, opposites are not in opposition to one another, they’re actually in balance of one another.

Art Costello: That’s very good. I would say that we balanced ourselves out. I just was able to do the balancing act much better than she was.

Holley Mignosi: You’re the wild one.

Art Costello: She had a hard time with it. She just couldn’t process it. I mean, it caused her to have angst and anxiety because she didn’t ever know what was coming, and she went–

Holley Mignosi: So much uncertainty.

Art Costello: Yeah, and I love uncertainty. I mean, it’s what makes people grow, and thrive, and experiment, and love, and that’s what it is. You’ve come a long great journey. I mean, what about body language? Tell us, I want to hear about body language. I’m all into the body language.

Holley Mignosi: Okay. Okay. Is there any particular context that you want me to share as far as body language goes? Because body language is, it’s really the first thing we judge. One of the first things that we judge when we see someone, there’s a distance. Let’s say you walk into a room, let’s say the environment is like a networking meeting, you’re going to network, meet people, or go to a convention, or something like what you and I met, and you see all these people in the room, and you haven’t had conversations with them, you don’t know them, but we are perceiving, and recording, and really judging, if you will, what we’re visibly seen from everything from what we were wearing, how we’re moving, to jewelry, bags, where we’re sitting, where we’re standing, how loud are we, all of these things. And body language is one of the first things that we begin to perceive in someone. And it really comes back to our days again as caveman people, because when we were out in the forest or in the wilderness and we came upon another person, we had to judge very quickly, is this person friend or foe? Do they have a weapon? Or no weapon? Which is one of the ways that we get waving your hand hello, where you open your hand and show that there’s nothing in your hands, or like, like this. I’m waving my hand like I’m saying hello. It’s a way of saying I have no weapons, you can trust me. And when our body language is open, it communicates, I’m open to you. And the easiest way to think of body language is when the body language is closed. It means I’m internal or I’m closed off either to you or my environment. And we always want to think about context too. So just because someone has their arms crossed, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re close to you, they could just be cold. So we want to think about things like that as well. But I love body language because in that moment, if I’m paying attention to certain cues, it’s almost like you can kind of read someone’s mind and their emotions and really understand them. So I do have a little game that we can play. If we can play it, would that be okay?

Art Costello: It’s okay to play it.

Holley Mignosi: Now be a good time?

Art Costello: Yeah, it’s a good time.

Holley Mignosi: Okay, great. So I have a couple of questions, and I’m going to ask you questions, and then you tell me what you think about body language. So keep in mind, for the audience that’s listening, open body language usually means your mind is open, closed body language means your, either your emotions or your mind are closed or you’re cold. One of those. All right, so I’m going to ask you a few questions, give you some multiple choice. And then you let me know what you think the answer is, and if you’re also listening, you can see what you think the answer is, and then we can talk more about it if you have any questions. Okay, so the first question is, who do you think is better at body language, men or women? And I’m talking about reading and perceiving body language. Men or women? Who’s better at perceiving what it means.

Art Costello: I would say women.

Holley Mignosi: Ding, ding, ding, you’re correct. Yes. So research shows that women are actually wired to notice more detail in body language than men. There was a study done where they took a group of men and a group of women, separated them and had them really look at some pictures of body language and assess it. And then they also had their kind of brains connected to some crafts that were perceiving what part of the brain is lighting up. And what they found is that when men are watching body language, eight parts of their brain are lighting up, on average. When women are perceiving body language, 15, almost twice as many parts of their brain are decoding, and analyzing, and creating meaning out of the body language. And scientists believe that that could be from, again, our caveman days. We’ve been wired this way. Men would go out and hunt. Women would be back in the village together in close circles, and there would be one more alpha female who would be guiding and directing the women do this, do that, do this, do that. Because we were in closer circles, we had to notice smaller body language cues with more efficiency than the men who were out in the fields, maybe making larger, more obvious body language cues. So the advice I give to my clients that listen to this, I say, when you go to a restaurant, and you’re with your man, and you see a woman checking him out, and he says, I don’t know what you’re talking about, she’s not checking me out. He really doesn’t. He really doesn’t see it. But all the women will notice the other women that are putting on the body language that says, Hey, I’m available. Way faster than the men will notice it.

Art Costello: Interesting.

Holley Mignosi: Okay. Number two, are you ready?

Art Costello: I’m ready.

Holley Mignosi: Okay. In a group of people talking, what body part points to the alpha? So the alpha is what we call the leader, and there’s certain body language of leadership. What body part is pointing, let’s say there’s a group of five people talking. What body part is pointing to the alpha of the group? Is it A – the eyes, B – the heart, or C – the feet.

Art Costello: The eyes.

Holley Mignosi: Close.

Art Costello: Feet.

Holley Mignosi: Yes, ding, ding, ding, you got it.

Art Costello: Oh, Lord.

Holley Mignosi: So what we found is that it’s actually the feet. And the reason why is because our feet are further away perhaps from our conscious thinking and it’s showing more of our unconscious thoughts. So we can consciously, even if we’re not really wanting to stay in a conversation, we can consciously make eye contact. We can consciously point our body in that direction. However, if we want out of that conversation, what we found is one foot will be pointed at the person who’s speaking, who might be the leader. But if someone wants out of the conversation, another foot will be pointed outside the circle, they want out of the conversation, or if someone’s really into whoever the leader is that’s talking, both feet will be pointed at that person, so it’s really fascinating and great to notice.

Art Costello: Yeah.

Holley Mignosi: All right. Number three, here we go. In a conversation, and this is a little bit around body language, but some other cues as well. What is the alpha influence? Is it the topic of the conversation? The pace of the conversation and when it ends? Or is it when to laugh? Or is it all above?

Art Costello: I’d say it’s all above.

Holley Mignosi: Ding, ding, ding, you’re correct. Yes, you got it again. The person who’s really leading the group will send cues, and others that want to be in the group, they want to be included in the group, they’ll tend to mirror the body language, they’ll mirror the pace and speed, they’ll even mirror, if one person laughs, the other person laughs even if they don’t think it’s funny because it’s like, okay, in our caveman brain, we don’t want to get pushed outside the group, there’s safety in those group numbers. So whoever we feel is the leader, and it happens very intuitively. We intuitively feel this person’s in control, this person makes quick, fast judgements, and they have the group mind. They’re really focused on everyone in the group. Therefore, the safety of our group is really dependent on that leader, and I’m going to make sure that I stay in the group with that leader. So I have say at that safety is [inaudible] unconscious thing, it’s really fascinating. Okay. Number four, which of the following statements is true? Now this is a little bit tricky. I kinda have a little tricky bonus question. Are you up for it?

Art Costello: I’m up for it.

Holley Mignosi: Okay. Which one is true about women? A woman can have varying degrees of showing her leadership and her alphaism in her body language, or is she the alpha all the time? Is she showing that alpha dominance all the time? Or is it only in varying degrees? For example, like if she’s at work, she’s the alpha, but at home she’s not. Which do you think is true?

Art Costello: A minute of thought into this. I want to say that I think that an alpha woman would show it all the time.

Holley Mignosi: Close (laughs).

Art Costello: (laughs) There’s only two choices. It does vary?

Holley Mignosi: It does vary. And they find that it varies more in women than in men. Men can vary too. Men can vary a little bit. Men tend to be a little more the same.

Art Costello: You know, I talked myself out of that one.

Holley Mignosi: Where you are you thinking that?

Art Costello: Yes. I thought, but then I thought, she said, tricky question. And I’m thinking, it’s funny how, when you process it, you kind of go, well, Oh yeah, the trick question. Because I was thinking it was vary, because I think that as human beings, we are always assessing everything that we’re taking in. And depending on the situation, there’s really no one who is always the alpha, they really do, depending on the situation. I mean, remember the very first time that I met somebody, that was my uncle who was 6″9, and me being, I think at the time I was like 5″, I was in middle school, and I met him and I thought how intimidating he huge and was a big guy, I mean, he should’ve been a football player.

Holley Mignosi: I can only imagine.

Art Costello: But anyway, my dad was 5″8, so the big difference, but I can remember thinking, you know how big and powerful he was, but yet he was such a gentle giant, you know? And I can remember being in different situations with him where he would be dominant, and then other places he would be, I don’t want to say submissive, but he would be more–

Holley Mignosi: Relaxed?

Art Costello: Fluid, maybe fluid with everything. I have a question about, not the test, but about me.

Holley Mignosi: Yeah.

Art Costello: You know what? The first thing I notice on people is?

Holley Mignosi: I would love to know.

Art Costello: Mouth, lips. I don’t know why, but it’s the first thing I noticed on people is their lips.

Holley Mignosi: Really?

Art Costello: Yeah. Isn’t that weird?

Holley Mignosi: Do you look at lips? Or do you look at teeth? Or do you look at the smile? Or what do you–

Art Costello: I look at lips.

Holley Mignosi: Huh? Interesting.

Art Costello: Yeah, it is really interesting.

Holley Mignosi: So two things come to mind about that. Well, one of my thoughts is, did you have a situation when you’re growing up where that was really important to you? Where it proved to be an important thing where you notice something about someone’s lips and it ended up being–

Art Costello: This is [inaudible] and I just thought of this. You brought something out. My brother was–

Holley Mignosi: Why are you’re turning red?

Art Costello: My brother was 10 years older than me, and all of his girlfriends would always come over to the house and they would say: “Can I kiss your brother? Can I kiss your brother?”

Holley Mignosi: Oh, my God, that is so wild. Okay, so, Oh, my gosh, you are turning the cutest shade red right now.

Art Costello: I feel it.

Holley Mignosi: I do too, actually.

Art Costello: And people who know me know that I do not turn red over very often.

Holley Mignosi: It’s getting hot in here, people. Let me just tell you that. Well, that second thing that I wanted to share, which relates to body language, which is so funny that you say that, when you’re close to someone and there’s attraction, when someone is attracted to you or you’re attracted to them, there’s this place, there’s a triangle, and it goes from the eyes to the mouth, to the eyes to the mouth. This triangle right here, so your eyes across and then down to the mouth. When someone watches your lips, it is definitely a sign of attraction. It usually means that they’re either, they want to kiss you, they want you to kiss them, or they want to be close to you, and it’s usually more intimate. So that really relates to what you’re saying.

Art Costello: I know that you don’t know me really well, but I am an intimate person, and I don’t mean intimate physically, I mean, with people, but I intimately want to know people. I think it’s part of what, why my show is so popular is because I just want to know people, and it’s genuine. I love knowing people because it is such a form of connection and it’s such a way to learn, and I love learning from people, and it means so much to me, and I care about it. I mean, I’ve been on the show where I have just cried with people. I mean, I had a lady, Madeline Black, who comes from Scotland, who was raped three times by diplomat sons at the age of 13, and I’m telling you I couldn’t stop sobbing. I mean, people often ask me: “Are you an empath?” And I don’t think I am. I don’t know if I am or not, but all I know that I do know about myself is when I’m around people, I have this deep seated, want to know who they are, and what makes them function, and not only their good stuff, but their situations that they’ve overcome. And that’s what I care about. So it explains a lot of it.

Holley Mignosi: I love that about you. And that’s probably why we connect too, because I feel the same way. And when we hear people’s stories, I feel like every day I am so honored and privileged to be able to work with entrepreneurs and experts to hear their story, because the story that I bring out in them is really one about vulnerability and credibility, not just the, Hey, this is how great I am, but Hey, this is what I’ve been through. Like you said, when we get to see someone, the way that their best friend would see them, the way that is so intimate, as you use that word, we get to see their brilliance. We get to see their strength. We get to see there resilience, and tenacity, and the strength of the human spirit. And it’s inspiring. And I don’t know, I would say we’re all a bit empathic really, because I think it’s part of our survival to connect, to connect, and to understand, and to feel understood as well. And scientifically, it’s already, you’re a man of science, so I can tell you scientifically, it’s already proven through mirror neurons. I don’t know if you’re familiar, are you familiar with mirror neurons? So it’s a part of us that just wants that sameness, and I love that about you, and it’s probably what makes your show so great too, is that you really make people feel comfortable to share their intimate stories.

“Part of our survival is to connect and to understand and to feel understood as well.” -Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Yeah, I guess it’s a gift in a way, you know?

Holley Mignosi: Yeah.

Art Costello: Just who I am. I just care. It has its good points and it has its bad points because when you’re as vulnerable as I am, you can be taken advantage of. And it has happened in my past to be taken advantage of, but my dad left me with one great thing. My dad was not a very big talker and never men much worse. But one day we were walking out of where he worked because he was a printer, and he was walking out of the building, and those what we would call a homeless person on the street, and my dad took out his wallet and handed him all the money that he had in his wallet. And I can remember asking my dad about giving him all the money and my dad said these words to me, he said: “If he goes and buys something that he shouldn’t be buying, and he doesn’t buy food for himself or his family, that’s on him. I gave from my heart.” And that taught me a big lesson, you know, because my dad really, what’s the word I’m looking for it. I hungered for my dad’s wisdom, and it came so little that when he did speak, it had such a big impact. So anyway, we’re getting off on the subject about you. One of the questions that I’ve had is, is there a difference in men and women’s body language? Or are there some sameness to it?

Holley Mignosi: Yeah, that’s a great question. So where there may be some differences is actually in flirting. So in general, as a general rule, I would say we have very similar cues. We’ll call them body language cues. When we are more introverted, we tend to look down and perhaps hold ourselves. You know, we hold our arms, we hug ourselves if we feel like we need some consoling. When we’re feeling really good, our shoulders are back, our arms are open. So those things are all the same. Where we show some differences is in flirting. Where we show some differences is in courtship. So for example, when a woman is flirting, she shows more vulnerability, unconsciously. When a man is flirting, he shows more strength, unconsciously. So that’s where there would be some differences. When a woman is flirting, she’ll move her hair, she’ll flick her hair away. Even if it’s short hair like mine, she’ll flick it, or tuck it behind her ear or something, and she’ll move it away. And the other thing she’ll do is she’ll expose, in the process of flicking her hair, she’s exposing her neck, which is a very–

Art Costello: Vulnerable.

Holley Mignosi: Yes, very vulnerable place. So she’ll flick her hair, possibly pull it behind her ear, expose her neck, and then if the chin goes down and you get like a look from under the eyebrows, Ooh, it’s on. It’s on like Donkey Kong. So what she’s doing is she’s exposing also her pheromones. Pheromones are the cheeks and in the neck, and she’s not doing it consciously. It just is part of our wiring. And so that happens. She may also flutter her eyes. Her eyes may flicker and flutter, and that can also lead to her eyes dilating. So there’s some conscious things we do. There’s very unconscious things too. When we’re in a pleasure state and we’re flirting, if you want to know, by the way, if someone is attracted to you, you can look at their pupils. So if they have blue eyes or green eyes, like mine, green, mine are easy to see, it’s a little harder to see if they’re brown. But if someone has eyes, and their eyes are getting bigger, the pupil is getting larger, that means that they’re taking more of you in. The equivalent of opening their arms, and both men and women do this. So that’s where the same, and it’s one of the reasons why maybe the eyes are fluttering, the eyes are closing and opening. The pupils are getting bigger. It’s also one of the reasons why we look more attractive when we’re in candlelight, when we’re at dinner. So the candlelight goes down, it’s very dim. Our pupils get larger. We actually appear more attractive to the other person. And even in ancient times, women would use little tinctures to drop in their eyes, to make their pupils bigger, to make themselves more attractive for men throughout history. And then for men, some of his flirting cues, he may put his hands in his pockets pointing into his crotch area, one hand or both. And he doesn’t realize he’s doing this, or perhaps he does. Art, you’re turning red again.

Art Costello: We just have a lot of Cowboys — put their hands in their pockets.

Holley Mignosi: It’s all about the bell bug, alright?

Art Costello: And pickup truck.

Holley Mignosi: And the pick up truck. There you go. Yeah, all signs of big, big, strong, strength. The other thing a man will do is, I call it [inaudible]. So it’s when he pulls his, makes his chest bigger, or you know, puts his hands on his hips and makes himself wider. I remember there was a time when my husband and I, we were on vacation, and we were going to the spa, right there was a swimming pool and spa, and it’s just he and I, and now my husband, as you remember, was the personal trainer. So he’s quite big and fit, and all yet muscular. And he used to be an MMA fighter, mixed martial arts. And we walk up to the spa and all of a sudden my husband, I’m talking to him and I’m looking at him. He roosters, chess gets big, shoulders get big, chin comes up. I go: “What are you doing?” And I look at the spa, and there’s four guys sitting and drinking beers in the spa, and he and I are walking up wanting to sit in a spa, it’s big. It’s big enough for all of us. But man, he just rooster ducklin’ in a heartbeat.

Art Costello: Oh, Lord.

Holley Mignosi: It was great.

Art Costello: Yeah, this is great. I mean, keep going. It was so funny, and it’s not funny. I guess, I’m not that way. I’d probably show more feminine traits than I do male traits when it comes to this roof stirring and all that. I’m very vulnerable. I was always been vulnerable when talking to women, it just makes sense to me. Now I know why a lot of women that I was talking to, even when I was young, I mean, would say, you sure you’re not gay?

Holley Mignosi: Ah. Cause you’re being more vulnerable, yeah.

Art Costello: And it’s because of the vulnerability, you know? And I’m not afraid to show my emotions. I’m very emotionally intelligent. I’ve worked, even before emotional intelligence became a big deal. I knew what a young age when I was abandoned that I had, the only thing that I could ever control in my life that I had full control over where my expectations and my emotions. To ease my expectations and emotions, because when you’re hurt so bad that, I just learned it that I was in control of me. I was the one who had to decide what my course of my life was going to be. And even though, I mean, I went to exterior sources and my faith in God was great, and I talked to him at the top of the hill, and asked what was going to become of me, and I heard a voice that just said, everything’s going to be right if you just keep doing. And I was so secure in that, that I became this person who just, I just let it all go. That’s why I say, live to your expectations, not the expectations of others. But I’ve always considered it such a great asset because I know who I am. I know what I want. I know how to get what I want, and do. I’ve done everything in my life I’ve ever wanted to do. I mean, I say this all the time. If I was to die tomorrow, I’ve done everything I wanted to do. I mean, I’d like to see my grandkids, my granddaughters all graduate from college and be happily married. But there’s no guarantees in that, you know? I mean, if I do, yeah. You know, I hope to live to be 135, but yeah, that’s part of my story. That’s a part of who I am. And that leads me to about the framework of storytelling. I know we’re jumping around, but I wanted to get these questions.

“If I were to die tomorrow, I've done everything I wanted to do.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Holley Mignosi: No, this is good.

Art Costello: Can you tell us what the framework is, and what some of the do’s and don’ts are of storytelling?

Holley Mignosi: Oh, yeah. Of course, body language is super fun, and the flirting, and everything is so fun to do, and we can do it for dating, mating and relating. And storytelling is the deeper stuff. We can use it for entertainment, we can use it for deep connection, we can use it just to share, just to be open. But there are some things that make someone a better storyteller than others, and it’s learnable. So here are the things that you can do if you want to be a better storyteller. Number one, realize that really create stories go through a process, a framework, if you will, and you’ll see it in movies, it’s usually in books. And I’m going to lay out some of that framework, that process for you right now. And you can use it with any story. So the first part of your story is the call. It’s when something kind of leads you to go on a path. You don’t know why, you don’t know how, but you’re starting a journey. And sometimes the call can be something internal, like you have a dream, a goal, a desire to be the number one baseball player that’s ever lived. So that would be an internal calling, we call it. It could be an external call that you were abandoned at a young child, something as a child, something happened to you externally that you had no control of. And it was a calling to be more, to be more emotionally intelligent as you say, and to understand expectations in your life. So that’s a call, you could say, it’s a setup for the story. And then the character, which could be you or somebody else goes on a journey, and they go on a journey to seek something, to find something to become more, they don’t realize they’re becoming more, but that’s what’s happening as they’re learning. And oftentimes this initial journey goes downward. It can feel, sometimes I describe it going down, but it can feel like you’re going uphill, like it’s really tough and difficult. But I actually like the visual of it, I like to describe it as going downward. Like you’re going kind of down into a pit, so to speak. And then there’s a point in the lowest part of the character’s journey where they’re in this pit, they’re in this place that’s dark, and they don’t know how to get out. They don’t know where the answers are. And then they try something and it’s like, Hmm, let’s see if this works. And they begin to have a breakthrough.

So right next to the pit is a breakthrough, that’s the third step. So you have the call, the pit, and the breakthrough. And the breakthrough can be a single moment. So in my story, my breakthrough is just deciding, I decided I have had enough. I need to quit drugs, quit my job, and leave my marriage. I don’t how I’m gonna do it, but I’m going to do it. So that was the beginning of my breakthrough. And then I decided I needed to get healthy. So then I start learning things, and that me, the character in my story starts to climb out of this pit. I do something that makes things a little better. I quit drugs and I quit my job. Now I need a new job and I need to be healthy. I hire a coach, so I take a step up this ladder. Then the character takes another step up the ladder, and another step, and eventually they get out of the pit, and they’d have these things that they’ve learned that I call the high value teaching content. It’s what you’ve learned. Just a few minutes ago you were sharing with us that you were abandoned and it helps you learn something. You kind of skipped the pit. You didn’t share with us what the pit was, and I was thinking it. Maybe someone in the audience was thinking, what happened when you are abandoned, and I want to know the story. We want to know what was that deep, dark moment because that’s where we begin to connect through our struggle, it reveals our strengths. And then when you shared, you kind of skipped over the pit, and you went to a breakthrough, and your high value teaching content, which was, this is what I learned. I learned that I can control my emotions and my expectations, and you gave us that. And then the last phase is the pinnacle. It’s when the character is out of the pit, they’ve learned what they’ve needed to learn. They become more. Now Aladdin has slayed the dragon, he has rescued the maiden, and they’re going to get married. So it’s the highlight of the story. So we’ve gone from a pit to a pinnacle, and often they’re in contrast, often their opposites, the pit, he felt weak, he felt alone, he was dark, he was scared, there was a dragon, he didn’t know how he was going to do it. And at the pinnacle, it’s the opposite. He feels courageous. Everyone’s around him saying, yay, you did it. We all kind of know that story. So those are some of the phases that great storytelling can go through.

Art Costello: Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, if you’re going to tell a story you want, I mean, just like a movie, that’s what a movie does. It takes us through this journey–

Holley Mignosi: That’s right.

Art Costello: –of existence, living. it can either lead you to a movie or in life. It can either lead you to highs or lows. I mean, they’re not always, pinnacles are not always highs, pinnacles can be lows.

Holley Mignosi: Sure, sure. Yeah, you can invert that. Absolutely. Absolutely you can. And we can have lots of highs and lows, and oftentimes we do.

Art Costello: We do.

Holley Mignosi: And that’s makes life so interesting? The second thing that you can do after you have that kind of framework with your personal story, or you can try it with really any story. You also want to make sure that you vivify the story. Vivify, meaning vivification . That’s sometimes hard for me to say. I’m glad I said it right this time, vivification. So you’re going to talk about what do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? I call that VAC, visual, auditory, kinesthetic. What do you see in the story? What do you hear in the story? What do you feel, feel has to do with your emotions. But also it could be, is it cold? Is it warm? Is it hot? Is it summer? Is it winter? How are you feeling? Do you need a jacket? Or do you feel like, Oh, it’s hot in here, I need to take a layer off. So it’s the VAC, visual, auditory, kinesthetic. And I always teach my students, really make sure when you’re an important part of the story that we can be transported into your story and see it through your eyes. Tell us what you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? You could even talk to us about, what do you smell? And maybe other things too. Whatever comes to your mind, all the senses, bring those in. So those are probably the most important pieces of storytelling, and always making sure that you share with the audience what is the lesson, what is the moral of the story, so to speak.

Art Costello: What do we not say? What if there’s something that we should not put in there, in our story.

Holley Mignosi: That’s a great question. This is different for different people, but I would say be very clear about your intention for sharing this story. Why are you sharing this story? Are you sharing this story to connect with someone to say, Oh, you went through that? Me too. Are you sharing to teach? So if we are experts, and if someone is coming on your podcast like the scenario and they’re sharing the story, it should connect to a point. So make sure that you’re not sharing a story just for the sake of sharing a story and people are like, why are you telling me that? I don’t get it. So always make sure that when you share a story, you also give the point of the story, or you could do the reverse. You could say the point, and then the story. So make sure that you’re just not sharing a story for the sake of like, let me just tell you something that happened today for no reason. The other thing that I find for some experts when they want to share their personal signature story, you don’t have to share all of it. And that’s really important because some parts of your signature story, for example, may not be healed. It may not be time to share it. If you haven’t extracted all of the lessons and the learnings and you’re still kind of in it. We want to use our story to help others. We wouldn’t want to be used by our story. So we want to want to show up as a victim unless we’re seeking help in that scenario. Like if it’s a counseling scenario, that’s totally different, and you’re telling the story because you’re seeking help. But if you’re sharing the story from the place of an expert, and I want to share with you to lift you up, make sure that you have clearly resolved whatever you’re sharing. Now on the flip side of that, that doesn’t mean that you have no emotion. So you can definitely still have that emotion that you’re feel sad, or that you have remorse, or that you have emotions. You want to have some emotion because then, the audience won’t connect with you. If you’re dry as a bone and you’re talking about something that was really challenging in your life and you have no emotion, they’re going to think that you’re cold. So the moment you have no emotion, that’s the time to change your story because your audience isn’t going to connect, but you also don’t want to have so much emotion that you’re telling a story and people feel like they have to save you, unless that’s the context that is appropriate.

“If you're sharing a story from the place of an expert… make sure that you have clearly resolved whatever you're sharing.” -Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet “We want to use our story to help others; we don't want to be used by our story.”-Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Yeah. Here’s a question for you. Who are your two most favorite best speakers you’ve ever heard? I shouldn’t say speakers, I should say storytellers.

Holley Mignosi: Storytellers? Okay. Well, Oh, I can only pick two. Oh, that’s so hard. Oh, gosh.

Art Costello: Well, I have my two favorites picks.

Holley Mignosi: Okay, okay. The first person that really turned me on to storytelling was Zig Ziglar. So I’m dating myself a little bit too. If you don’t know who Zig Ziglar, you got to look him up. Man, he was a great storyteller. And he would describe the details, and you could see it, and you could hear it, and you could feel it, and he would have this BEAUTIFUL ending that tied in the whole point of what he was saying. And he was such a beautiful storyteller that he could tell somebody else’s story, even better than they could. So he wasn’t just telling his own stories, he would tell somebody else’s story. So Zig Ziglar was JUST AMAZING TO ME. And then I also recently just spent time with Les Brown in person, and saw him on stage, and gosh, he’s just got this gospel rhythm, got this rhythm, and this flow, and you feel like you’re in church when all he’s doing is telling you about, you know, when he was a little boy, and there’s this movement to his rhythm when he speaks, and it’s captivating.

Art Costello: My two favorite speakers are Walter Bond, who is a former NBA player, I don’t know if you know Walter.

Holley Mignosi: I’ll have to look him up.

Art Costello: And Andy Andrews, he’s an author. And Andy wrote The Butterfly Effect. The Traveler’s Gift is probably his most famous book, New York Times best selling author, but they both are very, very good storytellers. I just really enjoy, I actually think that of Les Brown, and Zig Ziglar, and Tony Robbins, and all those is more as teachers than I do storytellers, you know? But anyway, that’s neither here nor there. We’re we’re running out of time, and we are, so I wanted to give you the opportunity to be able to tell people where to get ahold of you, and after you do that, I want you to leave us with some parting thoughts, and then I will take us out. I will finish the show.

Holley Mignosi: Okay. If you’d like to connect with me, you can find me at holleymignosi.com, is my website, but I also have a free gift for your audience. Can I share that as well?

Art Costello: Oh, absolutely.

Holley Mignosi: Okay great. If they want to go to Holley Mignosi, and it’s M-I-G-N-O-S-I, and Holly is H-O-L-L-E-Y, forward slash (/) hot 15, H-O-T-1-5, you will get a checklist of my 15 Hottest Hand Gestures to use for mating, dating, relating, stage time, or bedtime, whatever you want to use it for. And in that, you can use it for your speeches, you can use it for TEDx, you could use it just to connect, you could use it to be more animated, and just to play and have fun. So that’s holleymignosi/hot 15. And then my website is holleymignosi.com. And then parting words, Hmm. What kind of parting words?

Art Costello: Whatever comes out of your heart, it can be anything.

Holley Mignosi: I think my parting words would be for those that are seekers like me, I’m always seeking the next level of myself. The next level of contribution. The next thing that lights me up. And if you’re seeking the next level of you, and you feel like it’s so far, and you feel like it’s just too far and you’re lost, or you can’t even figure out what the next level of you is. I want to share with you what I heard from higher power, whatever God, whatever you want to say it is. I was really praying for something one day and I heard the words, “Know that your prayers are heard and your dreams will be fulfilled.”

“Know that your prayers are heard and your dreams will be fulfilled.” -Holley Mignosi Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Can’t ask for better parting words than those? I mean, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Just as you are. So we are lucky to have you today. You’ve given us so many gems, and I’m going to encourage my audience to reach out to you to learn all those storytelling, and use Holley, let her teach you.

Holley Mignosi: Please.

Art Costello: But that being said, I’m going to take us out outta here. You know where you can get ahold of me, expectationtherapy.com, I love you all and thank you. I love you Holley for coming on the show today, and Heather White, go ahead and take us out of here.

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