“What is beautiful about you are all the amazing qualities that make you, you.” – Jaina Thatch
Real superheroes are found, not in the pages of a comic book, but in the pages of our everyday life. They are the ones that chose to wield their superpowers for the greater good. Today, Art and Jaina bring us into the wonderful world of dreams. They open up the gates of possibilities so that our eyes may see how innately incredible we are with our own set of abilities and formidable qualities. As a woman, Jaina also leads us to the depth of a mother and child bond and how women in the society can break through and experience the new growth. Unleash your potential. Desire to move forward; it’s the only path worthy of your being.
Listen to the podcast here:
01:34 Passion To Write
06:35 Superhero Girl
13:06 New Growth Of Women
22:20 Strengthening The Mother And Children Bond
29:10 Own Your Superpowers
37:21 Desire To Move Forward
The power is in your hands to live your dreams. Listen in as @myexpectation and @ThatchJaina relate how you can own your super powers. #expectations#epiphanies#superpowers#superhero##inspire#bond#communication Click To Tweet
09:11 “What is beautiful about you are all the amazing qualities that make you, you.” – Jaina Thatch
13:23 “You can live your dream; anything is possible.” – Jaina Thatch
28:48 “Our gifts aren’t meant for us to just hold on to, our gifts are meant to share with the world.” – Jaina Thatch
35:02 “Life is about being on this journey and you don’t necessarily have to be one thing all the time to define you. You can figure that out along the way.” – Jaina Thatch
37:49 “Everything is possible when you believe it can be.” – Art Costello
Jaina Thatch is a Physical Therapist, Inspirational Speaker, and the author of a new children’s book, My Superhero Mind, which was inspired by the birth of her superhero daughter Isla. She’s helping to instill values of self love, inner confidence, true beauty, and authenticity in young women across the country, reminding them that by using their powerful minds, they can be anything they want to be. Her greatest desire is to continue instilling this important message in girls at a young age to assist in building a strong foundation for the women of our future.
Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies Podcast. Joining us today on an all new edition at a Shower Epiphanies is Jaina Thatch. Jaina is a physical therapist, inspirational speaker and the author of a new children’s book, My Superhero Mind, which was inspired by the birth of her superhero daughter Isla. She’s helping to instill values of self love, inner confidence, true beauty and authenticity in young women across the country. Reminding them that by using their powerful minds, they can be anything they want to be. Her greatest desire is to continue instilling this important message in girls at a young age to assist in building a strong foundation for women of our future. Currently lives in Tampa, Florida with their family and their puppy, Frosty.
Welcome to the show, we finally got this out.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Thank you so much for having me. This has been a blast.
Art Costello: Yeah, well, it’ll continue to be a blast. For those of you who don’t know, I’m kind of having a technical difficulty today, getting words out of my mouth, so we’ll do the best we can. Can you tell us your story, how you got started in all this, and what life was like for you growing up, and all that kind of stuff.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Oh, yeah. I always loved to write as a child writing. I grew up in a very large Italian family, so it was hard always to get a voice in. I used to turn to writing as a way to express myself and not always having to share my thoughts with everyone. But when I was ready to, I would share them. But it was a great way for me to express myself in a very large family with a lot of very large personalities. And I was quieter than the rest of them. And writing really stuck with me even through high school and college, we had an amazing writing program at our school, really taught the foundation of writing skills that I realized a lot of my friends at other high schools didn’t have. I went to high school called Bishop Eustace in New Jersey. And then in college while I was getting my master’s degree in doctorate of physical therapy, we still had a wonderful writing program, and I had a writing professor there who was still interested in me writing and pursuing it as a profession, but I was already on a course to become a physical therapist. So I kept it as a passion of mine and I would keep going back to it because when I would write, I would really feel the field. I feel like I worked, I feel like it was my soul’s passion. It would ignite me from the inside. So I always kept it with me even through, when my husband was a resident, I started a blog to talk about our journey along his medical school and what that all entailed. And then when my daughter was born, my life just changed. I really took a hard look at myself. I looked at the women around me. I looked at who was on social media, who was prevalent. I was noticing the impact of social media on young women. And it really, really made me think long and hard about who she would be and who she would emulate. So I really thought, you know what? I really want to inspire her. So that’s where the book came about. If I’m teaching my children to pursue their own dreams, live your happy life, live what your soul’s mission is, I have to do it for myself.
Art Costello: That’s really how, it’s amazing how we’re always led to where we’re supposed to be when we just follow our heart and our instinct, our gut instinct.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I completely agree with that.
Art Costello: Yeah. Because when I was young, first I read, I read a lot. We didn’t have TV, as I told you before, I’m old. So I grew up in a very rural farm and we couldn’t get TV reception. So my parents had a huge library and I read, and when I went to Vietnam, I started writing poetry about Vietnam and stuff like that. Then when I went to college, my English professor told me that I should publish it. I went home that night and burned it.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I did the same thing. My English professor in college told me he wanted to publish some of my writing and I hid from him. That’s so funny, I wouldn’t go to the, I didn’t have the courage yet.
Art Costello: Yeah. It wasn’t my time either. But anyway, it always amazes me that when we follow our instincts, it just brings us to where we’re supposed to be.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah, I completely agree. Today, we did our first television interview and I didn’t realize that it was, my message is about kindness, and being kind to ourselves, and being kind to others. And I didn’t realize today was world kindness day. So funny. I agree with you, the timing of life and life leading you exactly where you should be.
Art Costello: Yeah. When we follow the path and not try to force it or pull it in our direction, it just really unfolds the way it’s supposed to be. I lost my wife in 2006 by ovarian cancer and that was my motivating factor for starting to write again. And I ended up writing a book called Expectation Therapy, it’s about using your expectations. This is something that we have in common because I think that we need to teach children how to expect. Because when we do, their life will unfold. It’s how everything unfolded for me. And I’ve gotten through every single event in my life through just expecting the best, and knowing how to manage my expectations and not living to the expectations of others, but living to my core expectations that are in me. And I think that that’s what you’re trying to do. Can you tell us about your book? Well, let’s start by telling you about your daughter. How that all affect–
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Oh, so while I was having this internal dialogue with myself, I had this little girl who was running around my house in her brother’s hockey equipment and she would put a cape on, and she would say: “Mom, I’m a superhero. Look at me. I’m so strong and powerful.” And she would pose. So all of the illustrations of the book are actually drawn from real pictures of Isla. And she would wear superhero clothing when someone would say: “Isla, you look so pretty.” She would say: “I’m not pretty. I’m cool, I’m strong.” And I remember for like a month, she was wearing her brother’s hockey equipment around the house and she posed in front of me and said: “I’m a super strong superhero.” And I laughed and I took a picture of it and I thought to myself, my gosh, she looks so beautiful. And then I caught myself with, I’m like, well, that thought, she’s wearing the equipment, how could she look beautiful? And then she sat next to me and she was petting her stuffed animal, she used to love her stuffed animal cats. And she was being mothering at the same time, so I thought to myself, she’s really showing me who she is from the inside. She’s showing me what I think of, what’s beautiful about her is her inner beauty. She’s showing me that she’s strong, that she wants to be powerful, that she’s loving, and kind, and nurturing at the same time. That moment just changed my life. I just thought, why are women, do we think that those are, that’s like a juxtaposition why our strengths, and beauty, and kindness, and women seem deemed to be opposing forces. We can be all of that at once. She wanted me to see that she was strong and powerful, and she didn’t want to be considered just beautiful, and nice, and sweet, so she really inspired me.“What is beautiful about you are all the amazing qualities that make you, you.” - Jaina Thatch Click To Tweet
So I thought, I really want to validate that. I really think that that’s a strong message to send to our little girls. And at first, it was just me trying to process what she was showing me, and the poem, as a writer, people say: “How did you write this?” And I say: “I don’t know. Just one day, six months later, the poem just came in and I quickly jotted it down and that that was like the birth of the book.” She was my princess, but she was a different kind of princess, even though she didn’t want to be called the princess. And I really thought, wow, this is really interesting that this is who she is. But I really want to inspire other little girls too, to know that what I think that is beautiful about you are all the amazing qualities that make you, YOU. The things that you love to do, the people that you love to be with. The kind of person that you are, how somebody feels when you leave their presence. I think that’s beautiful, I think if I could take the word beauty and redefine it and not make it to be this singular way to objectify someone’s physical traits, I would redefine it as a culmination of all the things in life that makes someone wonderful. And I think that little girls, especially in this day and age, with all the visuals of social media and the trends, and everyone jumping on the bandwagon of what’s cool and what’s beautiful, I really want them to know that your self worth comes from within.
Art Costello: Yeah. And that’s why I teach expectations because once they have the solid foundation of what their expectations are, what their core expectations are, and they don’t live to be expectations of others, they become strong because they’re not followers, they really become leaders. So one of the components that I really think is important for young people in general is just to figure out what their core expectations are, and then really learn how to manage them and move through because it’s tremendous.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I love that. I think we’re both on the same path with that. I think that as women, sometimes we’re just always inundated with so much information about who we should be, I think we should be told a little bit more than who exactly who we are is enough. You’re beautiful, you are kind, you are wonderful just the way you are. Like you say, your core expectations, I believe that they’re their core beliefs. And with children,I say these are your superhero powers, these are the things that make you quintessential, unencumbered you, and that’s beautiful. Just trying to be your authentic self and not trying to be a version of what you think is wonderful, or a version of what, sometimes as parents, we put expectations on our children as well. Maybe subconsciously or unintentionally, but just based on our own experiences in childhood and we think would be best for our children. I realized that with my daughter, I had to step back a little bit and let her show me who she really was. And I just had to help her navigate that way. How to navigate that road in a safe way, in a positive way.
Art Costello: Yeah, that’s a funny thing about expectations, that there’s a fine line between having self expectations and then living to the expectations of others because we have expectations that are put on us by society. There’s laws, and rules, and regulations that we have to follow. And kids need to understand that they have to follow those, that they can’t live without expectation. So often today we’re told, don’t have expectations, and that is really the worst thing, it’s really, it’s what people should be saying to their children is let’s learn how to manage your expectations because as we all know, life happens and we don’t have control of it. I mean, unfortunately children lose parents and parents lose children, and there’s all kinds of different scenarios that we need to learn how to maneuver through those. How has this writing book been with Isla, which is your relationship with her? How’s the growth going in?
Dr. Jaina Thatch: She’s really enjoying all of it. It’s really nice to sit back and watch her see how this message really resonates with a lot of people and where exactly this has taken us. I think the best thing she gets to see is me showing her that you can live your dream and anything is possible. And she gets to be right there alongside me and witnessed that. We’re creating so many wonderful memories together by doing this, and she is so thrilled, and my sons are even thrilled too. It’s really interesting for them to see, we’re the only two girls in the family, so for them to see the women in the family we’re doing something really wonderful standing out.“You can live your dream; anything is possible.” - Jaina Thatch Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Well, I think that that’s one of the benefits that arises out of all, this new growth of women coming out of their traditional roles as mothers and breadwinners. I mean, you’re coming out and it’s really showing not only your daughter, but it’s showing your son and your husband what your strengths are, you’re laughing. I can only imagine.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Spoken like a man who was buried for a long time.
Art Costello: Oh, yeah, I’m in tune with people. I’m very intuitive.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah, it’s been really, because people say: “Well, you’re writing about a girl and you’re mom of boys, so how does this affect their relationship?” And I say: “My message is about girls, and it’s definitely about empowering girls to find their own voice, and children in general, to find their own voice and their own happiness.” But I’m teaching my sons that you can be in a relationship with someone who validates and empowers the woman who walks alongside you and looks at what you can do. And I truly believe that my daughter feels strong and powerful because she has brothers, because they do validate and empower her, and they think she’s wonderful. I mean, not only look at what can happen when women inspire women, but look at what can happen when men inspire women as well.
Art Costello: Yeah. I think there’s a trend in the country right now where women, particularly on the internet, you look at all the businesses that are on the internet that are run by women and owned by women who are, I mean, I can name names of women who are literally making millions of dollars on the internet. It’s much harder for men. Believe me, it is much harder for men, because women tend to trust other women more than they do men. Even though I have a message that I believe every woman should be teaching their children. The women are probably more receptive, but the men are less receptive because they don’t want anybody telling them how to do anything. It’s just true. I mean, I have three friends who all have businesses that are geared to empowering men and they voiced to me all the time the struggles that they have talking to men to get men to open up and be authentic. They all want to play the macho man, and they want to be in control, and they don’t like to relinquish control. So it’s interesting how that whole scenario works out, but I did want to tell you, I’m going to give you a name of a young lady that I interviewed last week, and she has a podcast called Superhero Kids.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Oh.
Art Costello: She has been podcasting, she’s three and a half. She’s nine years old, and she has a million subscribers to her podcast, over a million. Her name’s [inaudible]. I’ve been so impressed with her. I met her in person in San Diego and just fell in love with her. She’s just a powerful, insightful nine-year-old that asks questions and answers questions so maturely, it really is astonishing sometimes. But I think you guys would really be a good fit. And she’s open to it, she’s sweet.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Look at how empowering that is. When you’re being your authentic self, even at the age of nine, because I’ve been asked, how do you define authenticity at any age? And I don’t look life as, I think if we talk about age, we limit ourselves because that’s a definite number in which people have a tendency to think men and women that if you haven’t achieved your dreams by a certain time, by a certain age in your life, that your earlier, and my grandfather would always talk to me in life in regards to time. And I think if you think of life and achieving your dreams in this mindset of like, well, I still have time, or I have time throughout my day, or how do I want to spend my time? You know, you’re kind of not limited by how old you are, you’re only limiting yourself. And if you truly want to step into the path of living out your dream.
Art Costello: It’s so true. Because when I was 63, and I lost my wife, it was 11 years ago, let’s see, I’m 72 now. Well, it’s really about perspective because, I mean, we’re almost taught when you turn 55, 60 that we’re supposed to go to the rocking chair and sit on the porch and watch the cows walk through the pasture, or the boats go by wherever you live, whatever. Some guys watch girls go by, God bless them anyway. Well, those are the guys that live in Newport beach. So anyway, we had this idea implanted in us that we’re supposed to be retired at 65 and not do anything, and we lose so much productivity from people that really could be teaching values and all these other skill sets that they’ve learned throughout their life. But they go into retirement and they just said, watch the cartoons, and the game shows, and all that stuff. And it’s sad.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah. I mean, there’s a quality of life there that’s being lost on both ends. There’s wisdom and experience that can be shared and imparted. One of the things I loved, I was very close with my grandparents and I lost my grandfather five years ago, and I remember just our conversation. And I remember just, even sometimes when I would feel like he was rambling on and I would say, Oh, my gosh, but I had the frame of mind to be like, you sit down and listen. These are the moments you’re never gonna be able to get back again. And he’s sharing his experience with you. And I felt, always felt a little more prepared because he would say, Oh, listen, listen to me. I’ve lived life, let me tell you how it is. And he was right about everything. I always felt a little more prepared after a conversation.
Art Costello: Yeah. I think grandparents really can have a huge impact on their grandchildren, because I think I wasn’t blessed. I’ve met my mom’s dad one time as a child, and all my other grandparents had passed already when I was little. So I didn’t have that and actually didn’t have parents that still had any kind of direction or expectations on me. And that’s how I came to have to figure it out all on my own, because I was pretty much abandoned at nine and had to figure out life on my own. But let’s talk about communication between you and your daughter.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: What do you want to know? It’s a very strong bond, that mother daughter bond, and it was right from the beginning. My relationship with her, we were more like best friends. We were in this together, this womanhood, very different from my boys. I would laugh and say, Oh, my girlfriend’s with me. Because she literally, she still does. She follows me around the house. Now she walks around with a pen and a paper because she’s a writer now. So it was funny that she inspired me to live my dream and I’m inspiring her. I don’t know, to be like me or to be like a writer, but maybe she is a writer, and maybe this is just her mimicking me right now.
Art Costello: Maybe she’ll be a writer just like her mother.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I hope so, or go into business together. But it’s a relationship that I’m so excited to see how this goes on with her, and to see how I evolve as a mother, and I guess expectations on myself to live up to this idea of what she thinks I am. And to be the best role model for her, a positive role model, and someone she can come to you, and someone she can rely on when she does stop herself because with children, they are going to experience that, they’re not sure of what they’re worrying, and who better to go to than your mom to help you stay on track. Because I know, I still rely on my mom for that.
Art Costello: And that’s whether it’s a daughter or a son, it’s the same thing.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah.
Art Costello: Our moms are just people who we’d like to be able to rely on them and emulate. Even boys emulate some of the traits that their mother has passed down.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: To do a lot of things with me too, they love to cook with me. They’re always amazed when I know that they’re not telling the truth, or when I can finish their sentence, or how did you know that, they say, and I’m like, well, it’s odd. God gives moms special gifts to just know these things.
Art Costello: He actually gives them to men too, but men choose not to act that way. Because if it doesn’t fit the role model, and see, that’s what I’m talking about. Men not living to their authentic selves, but who they think that their sons and daughters think they should be, and who their wives think they should be. So we’re always an interesting dynamic that is in relationships, but communication is always the key. When you communicate with your children, and you’re honest, and you’re authentic, and you do hold them to be authentic and honest, you can’t go wrong, really. I mean, it’s a great model to have your kids grow.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I believe so. And I think my children are really good at picking up on, maybe when I’m not completely being transparent with them as well. What I try to teach my kids is that I’ve never been wrong about anything. When I go with my gut, the only time I’ve ever been wrong is when I listen to someone else or I don’t go with my gut. I think, to help them tap internally. With women, I think we’re a little bit more emotional. We tend to rely on that side of things then and go with emotions. And boys tend to be a little bit more thinkers, and straightforward, and problem solvers to help young men navigate that way too.
Art Costello: I work with men, and boys, and women becoming more emotionally intelligent, because I’ve done a lot of work with emotional intelligence. And if you can identify your emotions and know how to respond to them, you’re way ahead of the game in this world. I mean, it’s amazing. Part of my program is that I teach emotional intelligence.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: To a young man, to a little boy.
Art Costello: To everybody. I teach it to everybody.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: It means, a little bit more emotional intelligence.
Art Costello: Actually, I teach it even when I’m not teaching. Can we talk about the three ways to build strength with a mother-daughter bond?
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah, of course. I think the first thing to do is to listen. I think our children are really good at communicating with us their wants and their needs, probably more than our adult relationships. And I think a lot of times it’s up to us really, quieting down our own voices in our head and hearing what they want. I have my sons, my one son is really, really good at soccer, but his heart’s not into it, and it’s a struggle for him to go. And I finally just said, okay, if this is not what you want to do, if your heart’s not intuitive, it’s not making your soul the same, I don’t want to put this expectation on you to have to go and play because you excel at that. And the next step I would say is to engage, which is following through with what they’re telling us and actually allowing the decisions that they want to make. Obviously they have to be safe decisions, and good choices, and help them navigate through that. But to help them engage in making those decisions so that when they grow up, we are raising confident adults who feel confident enough to make their own decisions, knowing that they have the support of their parents behind them and helping them show the way in to make those decisions. And then the third thing I would say is to inspire, once you are helping them engage in their soul igniting, things that they love to do, whatever’s making them happy. I don’t believe that the gifts that we have, as you call them expectations, or achieving your expectations, I think I call them superhero powers. So our superhero powers, this is what I say to kids, our superheroes share their powers, right? So our gifts aren’t meant for us to just hold onto, our gifts are meant to share with the world. So I think that they not only have to find out ways to figure out what their superhero powers are, but they now have a duty to inspire those once they figure out what they want to do. Because I think it’s truly an inspiration when you see someone living their dream, no matter what age they are.“Our gifts aren't meant for us to just hold on to, our gifts are meant to share with the world.” - Jaina Thatch Click To Tweet
Art Costello: How can a young person define what their superpowers are?
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I say it’s the things that make your soul sing, it is the things that resonate with you deep within, it is the things that bring joy and happiness to your face, it’s whatever you love to do. It can be being a good friend, it could be being a good listener, your super power could be being the quiet kid in class, because a lot of times, other children will rely on that to help calm everyone down. You could be a loud excited kid in class, and if you’re a little quieter, or maybe you’re not having a bad day, you can always rely on little Johnny being excited and loud all the time to pump you up, that’s a superpower. You could be really good at baseball, you could love to play the piano, anything that makes you authentically you I think is your superpower.
Art Costello: Yeah, I was just trying to think of, I mean, I loved baseball when I was a little guy. I mean, baseball was my life. I played in the minor leagues professionally. I played in the Marine Corps when I was in the Marines, and in college and all that. So baseball has always been my, I mean, I could play baseball from sundown till, I mean, I just love baseball. I love playing it, and what’s funny is I can’t watch it on TV.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Does it make you want to play? Because I know that I recently watched Michael Jordan and his interview, and he won’t pick up a basketball because it’ll make him want to play.
Art Costello: That’s probably it. I know it’s not going to happen, I was a catcher.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: My son who plays baseball, he’s a catcher.
Art Costello: So just getting on my knees now, it’s getting back up, it’s not getting down. There you go. I’m trying to think of where we should go now.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Well, that’s really what I think. I think by using the word superhero and super power, it really gets children excited to find out what that passion is regardless of what it is. And I think sometimes children feel insecure about themselves and they really don’t know how, where to go with it, is it okay if I’m the quiet one? Is it okay if I’m the loud one? Is it okay if I’m the energetic one? Yeah, that’s you being you. That’s you being your beautiful, authentic self.
Art Costello: And I think that that’s really important to be your authentic self. Whether you’re a child, or you’re an adult, or you’re a senior citizen, if you’re not going to be authentic, then what is there? You’re not feeding your soul when you’re not authentic and you don’t have direction. I mean, there’s all kinds of things that being authentic creates. I mean, it’s very self-fulfilling. And I talk a lot about wants, needs and desires. And I know you’ve talked about wants and needs, but I believe that we also have desires that come along and they’re like anything else in life, they come and go and all that. I mean, I desired as a young child to be a pro baseball player. And even after I went to Vietnam and came back, played in the Marine Corps and then played four years in college, I still went and pursued baseball because it was this desire in me. And when we have a desire, when we desire something, we don’t give up on it. It’s just something, it’s greater than a want or a need. Once there’s things that we can say, okay, I want a new car, or I want a beautiful blonde girlfriend, or I want this, or I want that. And then there’s things that we need, shelter, food, drink, all of those things. But desires go way, way deeper. I think there’s something that is attached to our passion when we have desire.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah. When I think of this from dealing with children and dealing with my children, wants, and needs, and desires, it’s hard to tease that out. So I say to them, think of yourself as a painting, a blank canvas right now, and you can paint your picture any which way you want to. And in the book, I talk about, it’s about Isla being all these different things and I don’t think that you truly know what you want to do or what you want to be as a kid. You can have all these desires like, baseball played a really strong point in your life and led you to so many things. And whether it’s baseball throughout your life, or one day you want to be a gymnast, and then the next day you want to be a hockey player, whatever that is, it’s fine because life is about being on this journey and you don’t necessarily have to be one thing all the time to define you. You can figure that out along the way.“Life is about being on this journey and you don't necessarily have to be one thing all the time to define you. You can figure that out along the way.” - Jaina Thatch Click To Tweet
Art Costello: I am living proof of it because I’ve done so many things in my life. And I tell this to people all the time, I’ve done everything in my life that I’ve ever wanted to do because I just go do it now. My late wife, it drove her crazy because she was somebody who wanted security and everything had to be set. I mean, everything has its place. Everything had to be set. And I’m off the cuff on, yeah. And me, I could see a boat sailing to China and I’d say, Hey, I’d like to ride on that, and I get on it. But it’s always worked out for me. It’s never not worked out because I’ve always had the expectation that no matter what I do, I do it to the best of my ability. And God has just given me great physical and mental abilities to be able to go and do all the things that I’ve had. I mean, I’ve done things that you wouldn’t even believe. I’ve worked in the entertainment business because I just go do it.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah. Well, I think that’s another value that I want to instill at a young age and build a foundation of courage. Sometimes we’re afraid to take that step, and having someone like you voice that, a lot of people see the big picture of it and they’re afraid of the big picture of what that may be for them though, I say, just breathe a little into the yes, just take those few steps into the yes and maybe learn how to say, no, to the no, and I think people are afraid to do that. So I want to take the fear out of it. I want people to ease into it. It doesn’t have to be this big thing all at once, but if you just gravitate towards what your soul is saying, what sets your soul on fire? That’s the life you should be living. Because we’re meant to inspire and impart our gifts on other people, and we’re not just meant to hold them in. And I think that’s what your mission is, when you can not only feel it in yourself, but that it’s resonating with other people. I think we all want to feel that we’re here for a greater purpose, and part of that purpose is to share your experience with others.
Art Costello: Let’s talk about something that we just covered lightly, FEAR.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Fear.
Art Costello: Yeah. Fear is what stops people from doing and becoming what they’re supposed to be. And for me, I’ve always been under the belief that it lies in our expectations, because we look at our expectations through two lenses. One is faith and the other is fear. Faith and belief that no matter what you do is anything becomes possible. Because I teach that anything and everything is possible when you believe it can be.“Everything is possible when you believe it can be.” - Art Costello Click To Tweet
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Yeah, I am living that right now,
Art Costello: But fear is what stops people, it would have stopped anybody from doing anything that they wanted to do. Whether you’re going to be a pro football player, or if you have fear of getting hurt or anything in sports, you’re not going to perform to your fullest. You’ve got to go out with the expectation that everything’s always going to be, and what I teach is when it doesn’t, you’re still able to pick up and move forward, and become whatever you were meant truly to be. I’ve talked to two people who have been injured and become paralyzed in sporting accidents and stuff, and they go, why was it me? Why was it me? Well, all I can tell you was that it was you and it must’ve been meant to be you, and there is something greater that you have to do. Don’t stop because of fear. Keep going, become everything that you were meant to be, and you working in physical therapy should probably know that better than anybody.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Being a physical therapist, yeah, I truly love people and I truly feel that helping people in a capacity that a physical therapist can is a gift, and to be able to change someone’s life and give them back quality of life, or have them do things that they never thought that they would do. I mean, you genuinely get to see life through a different scope, and I would leave work some days just feeling grateful that I had that opportunity. Sometimes it felt more like a blessing for me to be able to do that for someone and actually see my patients excel. I know there was such a sense of fulfillment with that and literally helping people get back up. And I agree with you, a lot of people don’t understand why injuries happen. A lot of times they look like accidents, or sometimes they are the result of playing a sport. I’ve had athletes too that have had cancer or just something they weren’t even expecting to happen to them and shorten their career and now they teach it. Just like you were saying, they didn’t understand why, they thought it was going to be this amazing professional on their way to becoming a professional athlete and their lives were soft, and now they’re amazing coaches. I agree with you that sometimes our desires push us to something, and we think we’re going to be something, but it really leads us in a different direction. Understanding that is really important.
Art Costello: Yeah. I think it’s what got me to Vietnam. I was a Marine in Vietnam, and in Vietnam I learned, I call it learning to expect the unexpected. And I think it just gave me a whole different perspective on life and how to live it. I think that’s truly where a Marine Corps was great for me because it taught me in the beginning to believe in myself, physically, mentally, and all of those. And then go into Vietnam, it taught me compassion for others, that life is short, you never know what can happen. And one of the things I always dealt with is we could be walking along the rice patty and somebody would go down behind me, or somebody would go down next to me and you get survivor’s skill, why was I spared? The only answer I could ever figure out and have to make any sense was, there was a plan, there’s a plan that for me, I need to do what I’m supposed to do and I just follow it. And that’s why I do what I do because I’m following whatever is meant to be for me.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I agree with you, and I think people that have an insight into how your life isn’t guaranteed to anybody. And when people say, I haven’t achieved anything by a certain age, I don’t think of it as age, I think of it as time. We all have a limited time here. We don’t know what our time is for each and every one of us. So I am an advocate for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, and I see a life shortening illness, and I have such a different perspective on life. Just like you do with Vietnam, that you appreciate it and you want to take the experiences out of it. And as opposed to people just running through it and trying to, I don’t know, run at life. Life is something that should be experienced and not trying to, like you said in the beginning of our conversation, people try to grab a hold of life and make it what they want as opposed to being on the journey of it.
Art Costello: Yeah, well said, really, really well said. Because when you start to try to control things and control people around you, I mean, think about relationships and marriages, one of the things that I always believe, one of the biggest problems with marriages is when spouses try to control the other spouse, or they married with the idea that they could change them. And you can’t change anybody, they have to change themselves. And It’s a journey, so why not make the best of the journey and not try to change people, and not try to force your ideas and thoughts. I mean, I let my wife be who she wanted to be.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Greatest gift that you could have given her, seeing her for who she was in validating that.
Art Costello: Yup. So it was good, 38 years, her name was Vicky. And now I’m remarried to Beverly, which is really a blessing because we, she’s 10 years younger than me. We just have a blast. We could do another whole show on that relationship. We’re getting towards the end of our time and all that, and I wanted you to be able to tell the listeners about anything that you want to tell us. I want you to tell us where they can get ahold of you, where they can follow you, where they can get your book, all those kinds of things.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: Well, you can find me on my website, jainathatch.com. I am also on Facebook at Jaina Thatch at My Superhero Mind. I’m on Instagram at Jaina Thatch. I’m just keeping it really simple. And Twitter, Thatch Jaina, so that’s kind of backwards. You can also find My Superhero Mind on amazon.com and the hard cover is on barnesandnoble.com. And if you’re in Tampa, you know I’m around, I’m doing lots of events in Tampa. I’m doing a book signing, they might miss this now, but I’m going to be at Barnes & Noble this week, and I’m doing two book signings with my daughter at school. And you’ll get to see me locally on TV this week as well. So it’s been amazing to share this message of love and kindness, and it’s great to be out there, this week is amazing.
Art Costello: Well, we’re blessed to have you out here. So any parting words you wanna leave with us?
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I just want to say, I talk about time a lot and I talk about fulfilling ourselves. So I just want to say thank you to you for sharing your time with me today, and I really appreciated our conversation, and I learned a lot from you as well. So thank you for sharing your gift with me.
Art Costello: Well, thank you, it’s been a pleasure having you on the show, and I’m going to have you back another time because we have a connection, I feel it.
Dr. Jaina Thatch: I agree.
Art Costello: So with that being said, Jiana has put on here will be in the show notes and all the information of where you can get a hold of her. And everybody knows in Shower Epiphanies land where they can get a hold of me at expectationtherapy.com, and I’m going to let Heather White take us out of here. Thank you everybody for listening and thank you, Jaina, for being with us.
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