“Little steps every day add up to big transformative things in your life.” -Kim Chiarello
Are you happy and satisfied with the current flow of your life? If not, maybe it’s time you start on that change you’ve been putting off for some time now. In this episode, Art and Kim talk about how not to lose the person you’re supposed to be. They discuss how to stand up for yourself with honesty and courage dashed with a bit of humor. Kim also shares her bag of wisdom on spiritual healing and getting in touch with our higher self. On top of that, she also teaches how to identify and listen to the signals and messages that are pushing us towards our purpose in life. We don’t heal by letting time pass. We need to start on that journey if we are to reach our destination. Tune in and discover how to be the change now!
Listen to the podcast here:
01:23 Interest In People
10:16 Live Up To Your Own Expectations
14:36 Expectation vs Goal
18:07 Everything Is Possible
27:30 Learn New Things Everyday
36:46 Be Yourself Always
39:22 Men Vs Women In Our Society
45:11 Finding Happiness
Don’t lose who you’re supposed to be. Join in as @myexpectation and @BeTheChange303 discuss how to create that change you’ve been wanting. #epiphanies #expectations #spiritualhealing #energy #intuition #higherself #purpose #fearvsfaith… Click To Tweet
“When you’re ready, it happens. Everything clicks.” -Kim Chiarello
“There’s an intuition in each and every one of us, and that intuition has to be listened to because when we don’t listen to it, is when we get in trouble.” -Art Costello
“We’re not authentic when we listen to other people. We’re authentic when we listen to ourselves.” -Art Costello
“Your higher self knows the most joy-filled, love-filled, peace-filled, ease-filled path forward for you.” -Kim Chiarello
“Once [your energy] is healed, the behavior no longer needs to exist anymore.” -Kim Chiarello
“Little steps every day add up to big transformative things in your life.” -Kim Chiarello
Kim Chiarello is an Intuitive Energy Healing Facilitator and Spiritual Teacher. Kim utilizes her advanced, intuitive abilities of clairvoyance, empathic, and kinesthetic medium to communicate with her client’s soul, as well incorporate advanced energy healing modules, including evolutionary Reiki Master Level. She helps spiritual seekers and teachers, energy healers, and intuitives to take their abilities and therefore their businesses to the next level. Kim’s passion is to teach people how to attain spiritual mastery in this lifetime and to inspire them on their path.
Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies Podcast. Today, Kim Chiarello was my guest, facilitator at the healing process. Can you realize this? Her advanced intuitive abilities of clairvoyance, empathic and kinesthetic medium to communicate with clients soul as well as incorporate advanced energy healing modules including evolutionary Reiki Master level. She helps spiritual seekers and teachers, energy healers and intuitives to take their abilities and therefore their businesses to the next level. Kim’s passion is to teach people how to attain spiritual mastery in this lifetime, and to inspire them on their path.
Welcome to the show, Kim. I’m excited for this. This is going to be fun.
Kim Chiarello: Thank you art. I’m super excited to be here.
Art Costello: Can you tell us your story, what your journey’s been like, and how it started?
Kim Chiarello: Yeah, yeah. Well, they say when a student is ready, the teacher appears. And when spirit wants you, spirit wants you. I started out as an electrical engineer working with NASA on a payload on the space shuttle. So I was what they called engineered instead of an engineer, super techie. And if you couldn’t prove it to me, I didn’t want to hear it.
Art Costello: She’s very detail oriented, I imagine.
Kim Chiarello: Yes, yes. And also I moved out to Colorado and everyone said, watch out for Boulder, Colorado. And I was like, watch out for the flying granola and don’t start hugging trees. And I said: “You have no worries about me if I can’t prove anything.” So I laugh because spirit has a great sense of humor in getting me to my spiritual path. Now, I’m a spiritual teacher and an intuitive energy healing facilitator for over 15 years, although I don’t really want to date myself there. So yeah, and the journey started with medical issues. I started having health issues, severe, and the medical community couldn’t figure out what was going on. They kept sending me to specialist after specialist, and test after test, and everyone knows what it’s like going through the medical community of taking weeks to get on the specialist’s schedule and then taking weeks to get the results from the tests. And every time we got a test back and it was negative, I would cry. And they said: “Why are you crying?” And I said: “We’re getting closer to it being something more severe.” And backtracking, they told me there was a possibility I had a brain tumor. But don’t worry, let’s just rule out the easier things first. Don’t worry, don’t worry that you could be dying. That didn’t work very well. I was worrying a lot. And they finally got to the point where they sent me to every specialist they could think of. My symptoms were getting worse, and they didn’t know what else to do. So I said to my doctor: “So now what?” And he said: “Well, go schedule an appointment with the neurologist in one year, and if your symptoms get worse, come back.” So basically they were telling me like, we don’t know, let’s wait and see. Maybe if it gets worse, we’ll figure it out. And yeah, I can love it now. That time I cried a lot, and I was convinced that they had rolled out the brain tumor, but I was convinced that there was something seriously wrong with me and I was going to die before they figured it out. I was in my 20’s at the time, for people who followed astrology, I was 27, so my sudden return suddenly got us on track for our life’s work. So it was really scary. And at that point, I realized that if I’m going to die, I need to know what’s the meaning of life? What’s the purpose? And what’s my role in life? Why am I here? And I better find that out as soon as possible. Because I figured at that time that I only had a couple months to live, I really did. I was like, everything’s getting worse. They don’t know what’s going on and I’m going to die before they figure it out. So I started searching for answers and wasn’t really finding anything. And also thinking to myself, so, well, if you’re going to die, do you want to quit your job and go travel around the world? Or just hang out on a beach somewhere? What do you want to do? And at the time I thought, Oh, I’ll just keep on keeping on.
Art Costello: Go to the beach, enjoy yourself. I mean, those are good things.
Kim Chiarello: Yes, yes. But I decided to not quit my job at that time, I kept up with my engineering and was just going about life. And in the town I lived in at that time, they were opening up a satellite version of a gym, of a major gym chain. And I’ve been wanting to join a gym and I’m like, Hey, why not? And it was really bizarre to think that you’re going to join a gym and you think you’re dying. But I was like, Whoa, what else am I going to do? I wanted to do it and I like working out at the gym and whatnot. So I went to the gym to see what the membership situation prices were, and it happened. It was the end of the month so all the salespeople are really pressured to get more people to sign up. And unfortunately for them, I’d also been trained as a negotiator in the corporate job I was doing. So I was like, okay, fine. Well, let’s negotiate? And I told them that I wanted to get a free massage if I signed up for a membership. And they said: “Well, it’s a satellite gym. We don’t have all the services as our main national brands do, not yet so we can’t really do that.” And I said: “Well, that’s fine. I’ll just leave.” And they’re like: “No, no, no, no, no, no, don’t leave.” There is a pressure to get their sales at the end of the month. And the sales guy said: “One of our personal trainers also does massage. Let me see if he’ll give you a massage.” And I said: “Oh no, no, no, no. I’m an engineer, I work with men. I know what they’re like, I’m not having massage, no way.” And at that time, I didn’t have one massage in my entire life, it wasn’t that I went regularly either. It was a big treat for myself to be asking for this. So I was ready to walk out the door and the sales guy said: “No, no, no, just please let me talk to him. What else am I going to do?” Okay, I’ll hang out here for awhile. And he came back and he said: “Okay, the physical trainer is willing to do it. Why don’t you just meet him and see?” And I’m like: “You can have me talk to whoever. I’m not changing my mind.” And I met the guy and he said: “Well, for my messages, they’re different. I have people keep their clothes on.” And at that point I was like, well, that was my concern. So I was like, I don’t see how you can do a massage with clothes on, but okay. And I heard myself, it was almost like a bubble coming out, like in a cartoon. I heard myself going: “Okay, we’ll have a massage with you.”
So long story short, I made a deal with the gym, got the free massage, and the massage guy and I scheduled a time and went to the session. And at that point, I was just really wanting something, relaxing, something nurturing, something supportive. I’d been through months and months of poking and prodding by the medical community, stressed out about dying, I just really just wanted to relax. And all during the massage, the — kept saying: “I don’t like doing fluff and buff massages. Is there anything wrong with you?” And I kept lying and saying: “No, I just wanted to relax.” And he kept asking like every five or 10 minutes and I’m like, I finally said, yes. And then I told him about all of my symptoms, and about how the specialists and how they can’t figure it out. And I just figured I’m probably going to die before they figure it out. And he was pretty calm about the whole thing. And at that point, I was laying on my back and he was massaging my shoulders, and my symptoms were that I was getting numbness, creeping up my hand, up my arm, eventually over the months, up my neck, around my head and starting to come down the other side of my body. And again, they checked out, my muscles were fine, my nerves were fine, my spine was fine, everything was fine. So as I told him this, he started palpitating under my collar bone, and all of a sudden he went: “Whoa” I’m like: “What? He’s like: “Do you feel that? What are my fingers on right now, it feels like a rock? And I said: “Yes.” And he said: “That’s the blah blah blah muscle that wraps around the main brachial artery and the main brachial nerve to your left arm. And it also goes up your neck. I’m going to push on it, tell me your symptoms get worse.” So he pushed it before I could say, no, because I was like: “All of these specialists who have decades of experience medically did not figure out what was wrong with me, you’re just going to make something worse.” But before I could say, no, he pushed on it. Symptoms did get worse and I went over stuff. That’s all it is. I’ve been a massage therapist for years. I’ve never seen anyone tense that muscle before. It is the tiniest muscle. I have no idea how you could even do it. No idea. But we could have some sessions and we can loosen that up. So this massage therapist found it in less than five minutes what the medical community couldn’t find in months.
Art Costello: Let me tell you this, I’m relieved because I thought you were going to say you married him.
Kim Chiarello: It’s funny you said that, I didn’t marry him. That’s the next step to this crazy — all during the session, he was telling me about how I had such lovely energy and how he’s going to spiritual classes, and he loved the spiritual teacher and I would like her to, and I thought, Oh, God, I’m just rolling my eyes like he’s another Boulder lunatic. I really liked the massage and would like to have more sessions with him so I don’t want to hurt his feelings. So I didn’t say anything, and he kept going on and on about energy work. And at the end of the session he’s like, I learned a new energy healing modality, I gave you the full hour. Do you mind lying here for five minutes so I can practice? And again, I’m like, Oh, my God, he’s a lunatic. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I want to have more massages with him, and I don’t have anywhere to go. And it’s just five minutes, and I’m really relaxed, and I’m exhausted from working and exhausted mentally, emotionally from the fact, the medical community and thinking I’m going to die. So I’m like, five minutes, I’ll just lie here. So I said: “Sure, you can practice on me.” So he set an alarm and did five minutes, and when he’s done, he’s like: “How do you feel?” And I said: ” I’m fine.” And he’s like: “Do you feel any different?” And I said: “No.” He’s like: “Okay, well, I’m going to step out into the waiting room, get up when you’re ready, I’ll talk to you in the waiting room and see if you have any other questions.” So I took my time getting up, but once I sat up, I went: “Oh, something happened here. I feel different in a good way.” And I’m originally from the East Coast Italian heritage, So anything goes wrong and you’re like, right, I’m sitting here on the massage table. You didn’t even stand up, I just sat up and I’m like, you could tell me my entire house burned down. I lost all my belongings, I lost my car, I lost everything. And right now I would say, Oh, okay, so now what? Which is not anyone who knew me would not be my typical reaction.
And I’m like, huh, maybe there’s something to that. And was just inkling in my brain, and then I went into the waiting room and we started talking and he was telling me, again, how amazing my energy was, and how I love these spiritual classes. And he asked me out on a date, and I laughed because at that time, again, I was an engineer, I was super technical. I needed to know somebody through friends or be friends with them for weeks or months before I considered going on a date with him. And again, just like a cartoon and the bubble coming out, I heard myself saying: “Oh, yeah, I’ll go on a date with you.” And I’m like, what? But I felt comfortable that he was a decent person and that he was nice, and I’d have a nice slime, so why not? So we proceeded to start dating, and again, he was always talking about the spiritual classes and everyone knows the more you push somebody the more they push back. So I kept saying like: “Yeah, that’s nice. No, I’m not going to go to the classes and you tell me about books.” And I’m like: “Yeah, that’s nice. No, I’m not going to read them.” So we were dating for, I dunno, a couple of weeks and seeing each other quite regularly, which again was unusual for me. So all of these unusual things are happening. And then he finally tells me, it just comes up in conversation that his ex-girlfriend is still living with him because she was working for him. She was his office manager. So she didn’t really have a job to pay rent to go find a place to live. And I was like, Oh, big red flags. And I’m like, well, I think it would be best that we hold off on the dating until she moves out. I’ll feel more comfortable with that, that you guys have a clean break. And they were living in a one bedroom apartment, and he dodged the conversation of whether they were sleeping in the same bed. Anyway, so I said that to him and he’s like, okay, well, I’m going to go talk to her and see if she can find another place to live. And instead of coming back to me and talking to me in person, he left me a voicemail where he told me the added bonus information that his girlfriend was a psychic. And when he told her what I said, she told him that his guides were saying they should get back together and he should break up with me. That’s what he was doing, laughing because how ridiculous that is. And how ridiculous that is because if they don’t break up, she doesn’t have to get a job and she doesn’t want to move out. So it’s really clear why she’s telling him this. And at that time, I didn’t think very highly of psychics either, but it was really clear anyway because he really liked me and wanted to move forward in the relationship. So he left me a voicemail. And typically in that point in my life, if someone broke up with me, I would just take my marbles and go home, and mope, and cry, and what was me. And instead the pendulum swung the other way and got angry, and I started standing up for myself. And not that I’m saying being angry and acting out is a healthy or mature thing to do at all.
Art Costello: In me, sometimes.
Kim Chiarello: In me, standing in my power, standing up for myself. I got angry, I called him back, he refused to answer his phone. And because we were so new in the relationship, I actually didn’t know where he lived at that moment either. So it wasn’t like I could go over to his house to talk to him in person. And I filled out this entire voicemail box yelling into his voicemail about how naive he was, and how he’s giving his power away to her, and how she just wanted a place to stay, blah, blah, blah. And I didn’t hear back from him, which was fine. And at that point, I was so angry. I had decided that all along when he was telling me about the spiritual classes and the teachings, I was like, he doesn’t understand these teachings, and mind you, I never read a spiritual book or attended any spiritual class at that point in time. I knew nothing about it, but everything he was saying, I’m like, these are concepts I’ve learned in corporate America with just spiritual language wrapped around it, and he misunderstands the concepts. So I never said anything to him because he was nice. I’m not going to the classes. But at that moment, I was so angry at him. I decided I’m going to go to the class. I’m going to tell the teacher she’s insane. I’m going to tell him he doesn’t understand what she’s teaching, and I’m going to leave. I’m laughing at myself because I’m not proposing anyone do anything like that.
Art Costello: I disagree. I think that what you were doing was going through the process of really developing into who you are. You are living to your expectations, not the expectations of others. And once you do that, it really, really changes the course of your life. And you were in that process.
Kim Chiarello: Yes. And how I say it is, I was standing up for myself, but standing up for myself by putting others down, and I don’t agree that that’s the highest thing to do, but it was a switch from not standing up for myself. So in that respect, it was a good thing for me at that time, even though it wasn’t maybe the highest consciousness way of acting.
Art Costello: I don’t think you were putting anyone else down, you were being honest. I mean, if he’s not honest with you, the protocol for dating and stuff is you tell somebody that you’re in a relationship with somebody else, and he lied to you so don’t be hard on yourself.
Kim Chiarello: Well, yeah, thank you. I don’t feel like I’m being hard on myself, I felt like I was being honest with myself.
Art Costello: That’s what I wanted to hear.
Kim Chiarello: Of course, the universe supports us. So I reached out to find out about the classes and it ended up, there was a class that weekend, just so happened there was one space opened or that I could go to that class. The universe is supporting me and making this pivot in my life. So again, my plan was a full day workshop, I was not going to stay the whole day. I was going to stand up and tell the teacher she was insane. I was going to leave and call this ex boyfriend to tell him that he didn’t understand what she was teaching, that’s my plan. So I got to class, and as the classes go on, I’m finding myself going like, yeah, yeah, I know these concepts from leadership classes, and problem resolution classes, and communication classes that I’ve taken through my corporate jobs. And it makes sense, she’s just using some spiritual language around it and adding some pieces that makes sense to me. So I found myself that not only did I not leave before the class was over, I stayed for the entire day, and at the end of the day the teacher said: “Part two of the class has an opening as well. Would you like that opening?” And again, it was like that bubble coming out from the cartoon, from the cartoon characters head. I heard myself say: “Oh, yeah, that would be great.”
Art Costello: You were just following what this massage therapist facilitated your growth.
Kim Chiarello: Yes, definitely, definitely. And I never went back and yelled at him either. What I realized was I had been looking for what is the meaning of life, and what is my purpose in life, and these particular spiritual teachings were my answer. They gave me all the tools and all the skills so that I could go within and find my answers myself, and there was no other way I was going to take this class, right? I was an engineer, if you can’t prove it, there’s no way I’m looking into spiritual classes or spiritual books, there’s no way. So this was the way the universe got me to get on my spiritual path to become the spiritual teacher and intuitive energy healing facilitator that I am today. Sudden return, we need to auto correct, and we need to auto correct in a big way because the pendulum is the other way, you have to prove it to me. Everything is technical, everything is scientific, and what is the spiritual stuff? So very, very thankful, I actually went back to him and to his girlfriend and thanked them. They couldn’t understand why I was thanking them, and I was clear, I said: “Thank you. I wouldn’t have found these classes and this is what I needed. These are my answers and I wouldn’t have found the class or attended the class in any other way other than going through the craziness.”
Art Costello: What do you think opened your heart and mind to all of this?
Kim Chiarello: You know, the only thing I can say is when you’re ready, it happens. Everything clicks, and I was more open to hearing about these things, thinking I was dying, being mad at the way the guy broke up with me. And honestly, as I teach, I now teach these classes because they are my path, and for me, what I teach is an energy level. It’s a level of consciousness when you wake up, when you’re ready to be aware of, okay, there’s physical growth, there’s mental and emotional growth. Oh, there’s also spiritual growth. And it really is a level of consciousness, and before then, it’s a lot of seed planting to people, they just can’t hear it until they’re at that level of energy, that level of consciousness.“When you're ready, it happens. Everything clicks.” -Kim Chiarello Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Yeah. I believe that we hit it at times when you can’t expect it. I mean, I was nine years old and was abandoned, went to the top of the hill and laid on my back, had a conversation, asked God what was going to become of me. And I heard a voice making that trip many times, I heard this voice that just said, just be, and everything will just work out. It’s your job to just keep doing what’s right. So I lived like that for almost my entire life. Well, I have lived like that with that faith, with that belief, with that mindset all of my life. And it changed the course of my life. I mean, I’m not saying that I didn’t have obstacles, problems and things, but once that mindset that no matter what, everything was going to work, and I trusted it, and I believed in it, and I had faith in it. I let things progress just like they’re supposed to, that life unfolded for me. And I’m always adjusting to how it unfolds to me. I don’t try to alter it. I don’t try to control it because you can’t. And I just live and let it live. And each day is just a new challenge and a new set of things that I just adore, and love, and live. I mean, it’s powerful, but I think that there’s a shift in people’s mindsets. At some point something triggers it, my show is about Epiphanies, and when you’re talking about those bubbles coming, those are really probably epiphanies that you’ve had, awakenings that come along, and either we listen to them and act upon them, or we buried them and we lose who we’re supposed to be. So that’s my thought on that.
Kim Chiarello: No, definitely, I agree. You’re making me think of a story that went around the internet years and years ago, a fictional story, and I don’t know who the author is, but the story goes, hurricane’s coming and they’re evacuating the neighborhood. So people come by, Joe’s house, in a truck and say: “Joe, get your stuff. Get in the truck. There’s room. We’re evacuating the neighborhood. The hurricane’s coming.” And Joe says: “No, no, God will save me.” And then the water starts rising, and people come by with a boat. They said: “Joe, get in the boat, the water’s rising. The hurricanes are getting worse.” He says: “No, no, God will save me.” And the water keeps rising and rising until it’s at the roof of his house. So he’s standing on his house so it is above the water level. So he’s standing on the roof of his house to be above water level, which is at the roof of his house, and a helicopter comes by, drops down a rope and says: “Joe, grab the rope. Water’s rising. This is getting worse.” And he says: “No, no, God will save me.” And then Joe dies. Then Joe goes to heaven and says: “God, why didn’t you save me?” And God says: “I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter.” And I think that ties in with what you’re saying about being aware of the messages that are coming, and being willing to take action on them versus dismissing them.“We're not authentic when we listen to other people. We're authentic when we listen to ourselves.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Yeah. Too many people dismiss these signals that God is a great creator however you think it is, sending us to move in another direction. I mean, I’m a Vietnam veteran, I was in the Marines, and I think about all the times when I was walking along in the pitch darkness at night, and we see three feet in front of us and we’d be walking down the edges of rice patties with weapons upon our shoulders, and rounds of ammunition and everything. And I think about the times when the guy behind me or somebody in front of me stepped on a landmine or something, and some of us had walked over that same terrain and nothing happened. We all have these situations where we pull out into traffic and we go, Oh, if I hadn’t waited one second more, that truck would have run over me. All of these things happen, and they’re unexplainable. We can’t explain them but they’re life altering, and we don’t even realize it sometimes, and the decisions we make come from way, way down deep inside of us. There’s an intuition in each and every one of us, and that intuition has to be listened to because when we don’t listen to it, when I believe that we get in trouble and we actually start to lose our direction, and our true self, and our true authenticity, we’re not authentic. When we listen to other people? We’re authentic when we listen to ourselves.“There's an intuition in each and every one of us, and that intuition has to be listened to because when we don't listen to it, is when we get in trouble.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Kim Chiarello: So true, and that’s actually the main focus of the teachings and my private sessions as well is I’m an intuitive, I could do readings and I will share information with clients from time to time, but I’d rather teach you how to receive your own clear, strong intuition. Whether you want to say it’s your inner self, your higher self, your soul, whatever word you want to use. And people will say to me: “Kim, I don’t want to be a psychic, so why should I focus on that?” No, focus on that so you can get your clear guidance, your higher self soul knows the most joy filled, love filled, peace filled, ease filled path forward for you. Why wouldn’t you want to receive that communication constantly?“Your higher self knows the most joy-filled, love-filled, peace-filled, ease-filled path forward for you.” -Kim Chiarello Click To Tweet
Art Costello: It’s funny that the answers that people come up with that question, but one of the first things that I do when working with clients is we identify truly what you want and we do that through going deep, deep into their souls, and into their thought patterns, in their mindsets and all that. How do you do that? How do you work with that with people when they’re resistant to it? How do you get them to identify it?
Kim Chiarello: Yeah. Thank you for that question. That’s a really long answer so I’m trying to think of how I can narrow that down. How I feel is I help people, one is in my classes, teaching them how to connect to their inner self, in private sessions and facilitating that. They know as I teach, if things aren’t feeling good in your life, that is your soul. God is spirit, whatever word you want to use your attention to say there’s something to learn here, there’s something to heal here, there’s a false belief, whatever it might be. So energetically, we’re working on healing that. And I’m going to switch my metaphor for a quick second and I’ll try to explain it since we’re not doing video here for folks, but you learn in psychology, psychology 101 will show a pyramid. Well, I’m going with a different one, but the pyramid is, let’s get it to three different levels.
The top level, the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, is your conscious mind. And then you have your subconscious and your unconscious mind. All of that is running you 24/7, and with the conscious mind being the tip of the iceberg, you can say, I believe I am worthy, I believe I am deserving, but that’s your conscious mind. In your subconscious and unconscious you could have false beliefs that I am not worthy. And the subconscious and unconscious is an energy, everything is energy. Your thoughts are energy, your words are energy, everything is energy so it’s being able to find those in the subconscious and unconscious, and to heal and transmute those. And the subconscious and unconscious is energy from all of your lifetimes, not just this one. So when people have tried doing affirmations and struggle and say they’re not working, right, because if you have stuff going on in your subconscious and your unconscious, the majority of who you are, if you’re talking about this triangle is your subconscious and your unconscious, you’re not addressing that, and you’re not getting to that. And that’s why people will say like a session with you, Ken is like 10 years of therapy. And I’d love to say I’m awesome and all that, but it’s the technique that I’m using. Being able to get that, I can communicate with that person’s higher self soul as to what they are ready to heal and what is the highest plan for me to help facilitate healing. I had to have skills, and the truth is a psychologist and psychiatrist study for years, and years, and years. When someone walks into their office within the first probably five or 10 minutes, they know what that person’s problems are, but they spend 10 years asking questions to help that person, that client understands and brings from the subconscious and unconscious up to the conscious level. Oh, this is my issue.
Art Costello: Oh, I thought the 10 years was about billable dollars.
Kim Chiarello: Well, I guess we’re not coming from Integrity. Yes, that could be. In the sessions, a lot of times I’ll say: “Hey, I’m seeing you have this false belief.” And a lot of times the person will say: “Oh, yeah, I know that.” Well, they’ve done nothing about it so now we’re getting into the WHY. What is the resistance there? And a lot of times it’s just that fear, that fear of the unknown as the saying goes, the devil you know versus the devil you don’t,
Art Costello: Well, I believe that fear stops people dead in their tracks most of the time. And if you live in fear, fear I think resides in two spaces or I shouldn’t say that. I think fear resides in one space, but my belief is that we evolve and plant with the seed of expectation in us, and we see our expectations through two sets of lenses. One is faith and one is fear. If it’s fear, and if it fluctuates back and forth because everything that we do is based on an expectation. We do not do anything without it being based on that expectation. And if you’re fearful, you don’t do it, you just stop. But if you have faith, and then faith is not a religious thing. Faith, it could be in the most powerful I think really when you have faith in yourself, and you believe in your beliefs, and you’re solid with them, and then you can move forward with anything, and then you start linking it with other beliefs that you have and all that. But I think that that’s the catalyst for either doing or not doing in our expectation of what’s going to happen.
Kim Chiarello: Yeah, that’s such a great point, I actually use something similar when I teach, and a great example is that expectation. And I will say it’s a false belief. So for example, if your boss is coming by your office everyday and saying like, Hey, how are things going? What are you up to? And you have the belief that my boss doesn’t trust me. My boss might be looking for layoffs and might want to lay me off, those types of beliefs, what are you going to do? You’re going to cover your work and you’re going to say, everything is fine. No, yeah. Everything is good. You’re just basically blowing them off and trying to get them out of their office. Now, let’s replay that scenario. Boss is still doing this physical behavior by the office everyday asking, Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to? What are you working on? And you have a belief that, Hey, I know my boss is up for a promotion, and I know in this company you are not allowed to get promoted until you’ve found the replacement for you, the person that’s going to come and fill your position. So my boss is coming by my office everyday because my boss wants me to fill his place. So my boss wants to give me that extra attention and help hone my skills and get me prepared so that I can get a promotion and fill his spot when he’s promoted. So when you have that belief, are you in [inaudible]? No, you were like, let’s chat. Sit down. Let me show you all the things I’m doing. And Hey, I was wondering about this, do you have some ideas? Let’s collaborate.
Art Costello: See? I call that unrealistic expectations because they’re not based in reality, because you don’t know what somebody else is thinking. You don’t know what their plan is, you don’t know. You can only live to your own set of expectations and people get hung up in these things and it gets them off track, and they become authentic, and they lie to themselves. And when you lie to yourself, you’re whittling your expectations away. You’re actually whittling your self worth down until you’ve lied to yourself so many times that you don’t believe you have any worth.
Kim Chiarello: Yeah, definitely, yeah. So it doesn’t matter what terms that we’re using, different terms. So meaning, the same thing, right? In one scenario you’re having fear and the other scenario you’re excited, and you’re feeling love, and supported, and safe, and all of those great words. And yeah, definitely. I actually thought of another thing which is a little bit on the same track, but a little bit off, so to share the story. So this is a story about working with all of your energy all your lifetime. So if you haven’t healed something in another lifetime, still there to be healed. And it’s okay if you don’t believe in other lives. I’m not going to try to force anyone to believe anything they don’t want to believe. So when you’re working with the subconscious and unconscious, you can get to heal that on an energetic perspective.And it’s not that Kim said, we back out healed in the session, that’s no longer a problem.
So I had a client once who said during the session, I always ask them what they want to work on in the session. And she’s like: “Well, I would like to work on these two items, but I’ve never told you this, Kim. All my life, I have never been able to just walk out of the house and leave, and get in the car and go. I always have to check and recheck that the burners on the stove aren’t on, and my curling iron isn’t on, that there’s no candles lit in the house, and it takes us a half an hour to leave the house every single time. And my husband of 10 years and my two children can attest to this, and I was doing it even before then. And I know it’s insane, I know it’s irrational and illogical, I just can’t stop.”
I said to her: “Well, that sounds like an unresolved issue from another lifetime. So let’s see in the session how that pans out, whether your soul says it’s something for us to address today.” She said: Yes, let’s address it.” And it wasn’t another lifetime and her soul said, please, please tell her about this lifetime, so I did. And I said: “Hey, your soul is wanting me to let you know that you had another lifetime. You were willing to release it but the lifetime as I’m seeing it was like frontier days, like little house on the Prairie, and you were the mom, and you were cooking dinner on a fire in the house, and the kids were taking a nap, and you decided to walk a mile down the road to the neighbor’s house because that was the nearest neighbor’s house to chat, the wife of that house who was home cooking dinner. And when you walked back to the house, you found the entire house engulfed in flames. And at that point you said to yourself, I’m an irresponsible person and I’m going to need to be hyper responsible to make up for what I did. So when you have those beliefs, that is an energy. That is an energetic belief.” And the client said to me: “Well, I believe in past lives, although I’ve never remembered any. But the crazy thing is, as you’re describing this to me, that’s exactly how I feel.” You’re responsible and I gotta be hyper responsible to make up for it and to atone. And I said: “Well, you were willing to let go of that today so that’s completely removed from your energetic being. That’s healed or transmuted, whatever word you want to say.”
And we ended up talking about the other things that went on in the session because there’s two other things she wanted to address. We ended the session and this client would reach out to me by email to schedule sessions, but two weeks later she called, and rarely do I answer the phone if a client’s calling. But spirit said, no, answer the phone, Kim. So I answered the phone and I said: “Hey, how are you doing?” She’s like: “I just had to tell you I was in the car today. I was in the passenger seat, my husband was driving, the kids were in the back seat, and my husband started laughing at me and she said, I told him, you better tell me why you love me.” He’s like: “No, no, I’m afraid to say anything.” And she said: “What? Tell me.” He said: “Do you realize that for the last two weeks we’ve been able to put our coats on, get in the car and go for the first time since I’ve warned you because I’m telling you, you’re going to start doing it again.” And at that point, she remembered like, Oh, yeah, when I had that session with Kim, she told me about that lifetime and how it was healed, and Oh, okay. So it’s not that we had the session and she said: “Kim says it’s healed, so now I should act differently.” She completely forgot about it. But once it’s out of your energy field, and once it’s healed, the behavior no longer needs to exist anymore.“Once your energy is healed, the behavior no longer needs to exist anymore.” -Kim Chiarello Click To Tweet
Art Costello: I mean, that’s awesome to be able to help somebody like that. I mean, think of how I changed their lives, how it changed their family. Then the family dynamics. I mean, change when you heal like that.
Kim Chiarello: Definitely. And yeah, I want to be clear, I don’t believe anyone can heal anyone, it’s that I have skills and tools that I can help facilitate that more quickly. Then that client who doesn’t have the skills and then they could take them a lot longer or never to be able to heal it. And I always say: “I teach everyone how to do this. I would like to work myself out of a job.”
Art Costello: I agree with you. I think that people have to heal themselves, it’s up to us to just facilitate. It’s a really good word for it. Instead of calling ourselves healers, maybe we should call ourselves facilitators, that would be much better. So we’re getting towards the end of our time, it’s been a quick hour.
Kim Chiarello: Wow.
Art Costello: I wanted to give the audience, I want you to be able to tell us any parting thoughts that you have and then end it with where we can get a hold, or you can do it either way you want. You can either tell us where we can get a hold of you and end it with some thoughts, or either way. You just tell us what you want to know in the next few minutes.
Kim Chiarello: Sure, sure. Yes. Everyone is welcome to reach out on my website, bethechangenow.com. That’s bethechangenow.com from Ghandi’s quote, Be the change that you wish to see in the world. And I added the part because you need to take action now, not to someday. And it doesn’t have to be a big step. Little steps every day, add up to big transformative things in your life. And it’s my honor, and my service is lifetimes to help people to be more empowered on their path forward for healing, and learning, and growing so that they can have the most love filled, joy filled, peace filled, ease filled path forward in their lives. So for your listeners, I would offer a free complimentary 20 minute discovery session so we can go over questions and see how I can be of service.“Little steps every day add up to big transformative things in your life.” -Kim Chiarello Click To Tweet
Art Costello: That is awesome Kim Chiarello, it’s been a pleasure having you on the show. All of the things that Kim has talked about will be in the show notes, how to get a hold of her, her freebie, and all that kind of stuff. And audience, it’s been a great hour spent with them again this week, and Kim and I are going to have to do this again. It just really got out of our time, just flew by on this, it’s been a pleasure.
But with that being said, everybody knows where they can get a hold of me, email@example.com, expectationtherapy.com is my website, and I look forward to meeting you all next week with another guest. And Heather White, could you take us out of here?
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