“The past doesn’t dictate the future. But the past patterns can show you what your unchanged future looks like if you do nothing.” -Phoebe Mroczek
Nothing is as unchangeable as the past and as uncertain as tomorrow. Life is meant to be lived today. But our eyes fail to see the time difference and keeps roving everywhere. If we don’t set our senses to focus on the present, we are piling up for regrets. We do not really see the value of NOW until we get a good slapping from it. Today’s episode will bring a good dose of reality check on how we’re living our lives, both personal and occupational- a friendly reminder of the beauty of allowing ourselves in the moment and danger if we fail to do so. Don’t wait for life to tell you to live for NOW, because when it does, it sure stings a lot!
Listen to the podcast here:
02:24 Woman for All Seasons
09:16 Live for NOW!
19:52 Becoming Fully Present
28:48 Life and Business
35:07 If You Have a Million Dollars…
40:11 Reinventing Yourself
45:01 Stepping Forward
“Do what you want, and do it now!” –Phoebe Mroczek
“There’s no tomorrow because we realize that life is such a fragile, fragile line that we that we have. And it can be taken from us at any moment.” –Art Costello
“That’s important for people to realize that living now is more important than what your past has done.” –Art Costello
“You can’t change your past, you really can’t go back and change it. And you can’t control the future. So live for NOW.” –Phoebe Mroczek
“The past doesn’t dictate the future. But the past patterns can show you what your unchanged future looks like if you do nothing.” –Phoebe Mroczek
“If we don’t make the effort, then it will never happen.” –Art Costello
“The only way we’re going to make a better world is by coming together. Separation will never, never create an atmosphere of growth and realizing our potential that we have as human beings.” –Art Costello
“Everything is truly unique to who you are. And I think that the success that you’re seeking in your business is really found in the clarity of your own identity.’ –Phoebe Mroczek
Life is fragile. Life is your NOW. Live for now and here’s why with @myexpectation and @ PhoebeMroczek in #NOW #Regrets #Fulfillment #lifeandbusiness #stepUP #adventures #fearless Click To Tweet
ART: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies podcast. Today my guest is Phoebe Mroczek. She’s a personal coach, podcaster and marketing strategist. She’s also the host of unbecoming podcast. She’s built her terrific online marketing business, she’s helped entrepreneurs refine their paid ad and launch strategies. She’s created a podcast and co-hosted it with over 900,000 downloads, but more important, she’s a curious explorer and a recovering perfectionist. She’s traveled to more than 60 countries on six continents and cage diving with great white sharks camped in the Serengeti and motor biked across Europe. Welcome Phoebe, it’s a pleasure to have you on the show.
PHOEBE: Thank you so much. I am so excited to be here. I’ve been looking forward to this since I knew you were starting your podcast, so thanks for having me.
ART: Wow. I’ve been looking forward to it because I think you’re a great person and, I think you can teach my guest a lot about living life.
PHOEBE: –Thank you.
ART: Can you tell me your story?
PHOEBE: Yeah. So I like to talk about see like different seasons of life and business and seasons purpose. And, and when I look at it, my life, I’ve had several seasons that I think, could be of interest to people especially even as you’re reading my bio. I love, I actually like hearing that cause I forget that they’re pieces of my life that, that I even forget about. So to start off, I was a, I’m one of six kids and my journey really started, um, if we go all the way back, there is, is really an athletics. And so I kind of struggled to find my place in my family because I am in it. It’s kind of thrown into a family of high-performers, extremely smart, very successful people. And so when I tried to figure out where I fit in, the last spot available really was in athletics, so that I dedicated my entire childhood up into college, really to athletics. So I was a, a college division one college soccer player. And once I got there just kind of realized that this, you know, I achieved my childhood dream. All the things that I thought I wanted was you know, how it unfolded for me and why was I not having this happiness and this real feeling of fulfillment that I was searching for. So I quit soccer and immediately jumped into this entrepreneurial, this time in my life. So I became a Mary Kay consultant, thrived in that, really loved it. And at that point I had changed, changed my college major to business because I thought, you know what, if I can sell, make up, I can sell anything. And I just saw the transformation that people were having when it wasn’t actually about the makeup, it was about how I made people feel. And from there, this entrepreneurial spirit, this kind of adventure and curiosity brought me overseas. So like you said, I’ve traveled to, I think I’m at 64 countries now and just devoted about seven years to living overseas and traveling as much as I could. And that was really a priority for me at that, at that time. And then now coming back to the u s only about three years ago have I put down that overseas living for a minute. Who knows when, I’ll pick that back up. But come back to, I was living in San Francisco and at the same time, over the last five or six years I’ve been building my online business as you alluded to in my bio and have just been excited to travel and I love life and I have this curiosity that I think makes me an interesting friend and a good friend. So that’s, that leads us up to where we are now and I’m moving to Austin, so I’m excited to be near you in the coming year and I’m excited for what’s to come for the new adventures that are in store for me in the, in the upcoming future.
ART: I’m excited about what you’re coming to Austin too because I think we’re going to have a great time.
PHOEBE: We are.
ART: One of the things that always interests me when I talk to you, I met you at the new media summit in Austin last September and it was very interesting how we, you and I met because we were over, the event was over and we were both walking out and we bumped into each other. And I think I said to you, I really wanted to talk to you.
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: And it was funny how we bumped into each other and we started this conversation and we really, really connected and which is, you know, kind of the way that things always work out for me as I, I bumped into people and I started talking and we connect and we start having this heartfelt conversation. And I learned so much about you in 15 or 20 minutes that we talked. And one of the things that really, really drew me to you is that your sense of adventure and your fearlessness. Can you explain to me what expectations and Epiphanies you’ve had that have brought you to this fearless sense of adventure? Because it’s really strong in you.
PHOEBE: It is, and thank you for saying that. And can I just say that in our conversation? I remember just being so locked into our conversation that people were asking questions and I had to go and take a picture or something and I just remember being like, Yup, okay. And I have to go right back because I was just so, enveloped in, in what we were talking about so I appreciate that that had an impact on you as well. And then as far as the fearlessness and the adventurous spirit, I think, I’m actually, I know where that came from. It, I think it’s been in me for probably longer than I can remember. But the defining moment for me was when I was 18 I went to, you know, I started playing soccer in college and this was my life and my dream and everything was working out perfectly. And in a moment, over the course of about six weeks, I found out that my dad was sick and then he passed away. And it was a moment for me that I can go back to very quickly because it was one of these all my expectations of how my life should be or shattered in a moment and everything that I had known now, was just on the floor. And so in that moment I, I distinctly remember saying to myself and writing in my journal, do what you want and do it now. And that has been a mantra of mine because I lost my dad too, you know too soon. And did he accomplish all the things in his life that he wanted to? I like to think yes. And I just knew that I wanted to live up to that, to that standard of living, to really play full out in my life and playful out in my business and helping people and having an impact the way that he did. You know, the, the church, I don’t actually think I’ve talked about this publicly, but I remember the church being packed with people and people coming up to me saying, your dad was my best friend and I had, I didn’t even know these people. And so I knew in my life I wanted to have that kind of impact that he had made in so many different lives that and touch so many different people in ways that I wasn’t even aware of. So that was really the start of my adventurous spirit and that just brought me, you know as I said, overseas and studying abroad three times. And, and just getting really curious about people and knowing people and actually knowing their story. Because for me, I was on paper, a pretty successful 18 year old at that time. I had, you know, not that many people get to play Division One sports and I was in this, this bubble. But what was happening behind the scenes, it was just a big mess and I was crumbling and I didn’t want anyone to see it. So I was, I had this facade of being really strong and being really in a, being able to take care of everybody else when, as I said, an inside and behind the scenes. And you know, in my room I was just an absolute disaster and I was unraveling really, really quickly.
“Do what you want, and do it now!” -Phoebe Mroczek Click To Tweet
ART: That, you know, one of the things that comes to mind for me is the commonality that you had. You and I have in the bond that we have because you know me, me having lost my wife to ovarian cancer, you having lost your father, there’s something about loss that really ingrains in us the need to live a stronger, more purposeful life. Now it brings this now like there’s no tomorrow because we realize that life is such a fragile, fragile line that we, that we have and it can be taken from us at any moment. Once you learned that, and I’ve noticed this in trap in my travels around the world when I was in Croatia, the people that I spoke to, their having lived through the, the war in the night in 1990 there, they had the same feeling that you and I have about living for the now. And that’s important for people to realize that living now is more important than what your past has done. You can’t change I always say that she can’t change your past. You really can’t go back and change it and you can’t control the future so live for now. And that makes all the difference because everything else becomes frivolous, you know? I mean it really has no, not much meaning and I don’t want to take away from the events that happened in our past. But truly when you think about it, the now is what really counts to each and every one of us. And that’s the important thing. Any thoughts on that?
“There's no tomorrow because we realize that life is such a fragile, fragile line that we that we have. And it can be taken from us at any moment.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
PHOEBE: Yeah, absolutely so I completely agree. And one of the things that I stressed so frequently in my business and with my friends and family is that this importance of the now and how I want to, what I call, I call kind of intercept people before they hit catastrophe, because that catastrophe could be an illness. Someone dying, you lose all your money, you know, something really severe and it doesn’t have to be. And if we’re just constantly reminded, and that’s not to live on the edge of doom and gloom, but it’s also to constantly be reminded how lucky we are right now to be healthy, to have people who love us in our lives. And another practice that I’ve put into place is, and I encourage everyone that’s listening to take stock of the important people in your life and take a moment to interview those people because, and I, this is something I speak about a lot, is that there are so many things I wish I could ask my dad and I didn’t have that chance because I was 18 I didn’t, you know, I didn’t care at the time. And now just a couple months ago I went and I interviewed my granddad and you know, I’m planning to interview my mom because there’s so many, there’s so much goodness and so much richness in the conversation that you could have with somebody that you love and care about, to actually hear the full story. And that just brings you back, as you said, to the now to the present, to who they are. And there’s so much power and so much fulfillment in that for me to remind people that where we are right now is always changing. And I liked the, you can’t control the future and you, you know, the past for me, the past doesn’t dictate the future, but the past patterns can show you what your future, your unchanged future looks like if you do nothing. And that is something that is just, I get really worked up about that because there’s so many people I think that are living asleep, you know, asleep at the wheel and there’s so many things that they, you know, that people can do to create even just a better conversation like we’re having today, which is, you know, the highlight of my day and I’ve been so excited for this conversation and that for me is, is enough to be like, Yup, did I do something today that I think will benefit a lot of people? Yeah, of course. Cause I had a great conversation, right. And one person after one person.
“That's important for people to realize that living now is more important than what your past has done.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
ART: You know, just bringing that up. I just flew back from New York on Friday and I was sitting on the airplane with a girl from Austin that would had just been in New York making a presentation on software that she developed. Her name was Ari and originally from California very bright young girl, reminded me of you in a lot of ways and her and I started, of course, if you sat next to me on an airplane, you’re going to have a conversation with me. I don’t care if you’re sleeping or not, you’re gonna hear me. And we got to talking and she had said to me, she said: “You know, I think God meant for me to sit next to you today because you’ve taught me so much and brought goose bumps to me because I thought, you know already that you’re correct about that. God did put me in this spot and I’m glad that you learned something”. I said: “But I want you to think about this: “How many people are sitting on this airplane next to somebody have no clue, are fearful of even opening their mouth to them and finding out about them.” I know everything about Ari I know she’s getting married. I know how she got from California to Austin. I knew what she does for work only because I make the effort to go out of my way to talk to people and learn about them, and I don’t do it because I’m nosy guy. I do it because I genuinely care about where they’re at, what they’re doing and I want them to know that. My point is if we don’t make the effort, then it will never happen. And I want people to know to break out of this fear and start learning about each other. Because once you learn about somebody, you will find ways to connect with them. And one word additive, your mouth may change their lives for the better, or make their day brighter, make it make, put a smile on their face. And that’s what is, to me the most important thing about living. It’s about sharing our events and sharing the things that have happened to us and in sharing the tears and all that. And that’s the connection that we have and you know, that’s the connection you and I have, –
“If we don't make the effort, then it will never happen.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: -we’ve shared tears, we shared stories and all that. But it isn’t unique to us unless we choose not to share it with others. Any idea? thoughts on your part on that?
PHOEBE: Yeah, so one of the things that really resonates with me is just that I have, I’ve identified myself as somebody who does that. I go out to meet people to really find out about people and some people, think it’s nosy. I just, again, very similar, I could have used your exact same words. I just genuinely care about people and where they are and who they are and what’s going on in their life. And so I think it’s putting on that or just kind of claiming that for myself, that that is actually a part of who I am, a big part of who I am and I also have to go first. And I think that vulnerability, that initiation, even if it’s not, we’re not going to jump into a super deep conversation, but I am going to bump into, you know, if I bump into you at a coffee shop, I’m probably gonna say something. You know and spark up a conversation so I think that that is something that people shy away from is this idea that you have to go first. And even if you put yourself out there and how many conversations are we missing because we haven’t opened our eyes. And I distinctly remember a, a thought that came through my head. I was walking through the streets in Edinburgh and I just thought to myself, there are so many people that have their headphones in that are looking at the ground and nobody is looking at anyone. No one’s having a conversation it was kind of a cold day and I just thought to myself, if something serious happened, let’s say, I mean I know in Scotland they’re not having earthquakes, but let’s say an earthquake happened or you know, I dunno a terrorist something which is morbid to think about. But if that happened, all these people around me, we would instantly have to care about each other. We would instantly be the only other person for the people around us. And I think about that a lot and you know, on plans and you know, if I’m in a coffee shop in San Francisco with earthquakes, it’s always that thought of why are we waiting until this catastrophe? Why are we waiting until somebody forces us to step forward and to have a conversation to actually have that conversation. Why are we not bonding and just collaborating or connecting or, you know, conversing with the people around us. It doesn’t have to be this huge big thing to force us to do it. Why are we not just taking the initiative and going first on our own.
“You can't change your past, you really can't go back and change it. And you can't control the future. So live for NOW.” -Phoebe Mroczek Click To Tweet
ART: Events seem to be the, the thing that brings people together. It just is a major event like that happen, you know I was thinking about the Brotherhood that I had with my fellow marines when I was serving in Vietnam. You know, we come from so many diverse cultures and, and, educational backgrounds and all that. But when you’re in a, in a war zone and in combat, all that goes away. Everything goes away except taking care of each other, having each other’s backs. And you’re right, why can’t we do that in every day? Why can’t we throw out all of the, the things that separate us and bring together the thing that joins us, which is our humanity are caring for each other. And, and that is the sad thing about our culture and the cultural, the world right now is there’s so much division in it and it hurts, you know, it really hurts me because I think that that, we’ve had far more commonality in humanity than we do divisions. We just choose quite often because of ad, you know, media because of preconceived ideas of the separation. I don’t like for one, I don’t like it because, you know, the only way we’re going to make a better world is by coming together. Separation will never, never create an atmosphere of growth and realizing our potential that we have as human beings.
“The only way we're going to make a better world is by coming together. Separation will never, never create an atmosphere of growth and realizing our potential that we have as human beings.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
PHOEBE: Completely. I, one of the things I look at a lot is how you know is this disconnection, but it’s also the, the other you know, the other side of the coin, which is just how social media is in, you know, things like social media and things like these meet up groups that I used to do in San Francisco quite often was just bringing people together. And I think there is this false sense of community when there’s an online group because everyone’s part of, you know, in my Facebook group I’ll get a notification that someone wants to join my group and I look and they’re part of 120 other groups and I just think to myself, this person can’t possibly be really present in my group. And not that that’s a huge, you know, strike or anything but it, it does make me think a little bit about how often or how much I’m really devoting to my own communities, to the people that I love and, or is my attention spread across and diluted really me, I’m becoming diluted in my own presence to the people who matter the most to me. And how do we do that? And so that’s always a conversation that I’m looking to initiate because I want people in my orbit to have 100% of me whenever you know, whether I’m there or not. And know that there is nothing too big, too scary, too far of a distance for me to actually be there. I’m always a phone call away I’m always a plane ride away. And for me that doesn’t, that’s just how I operate in life but that’s been something I had to shed, pretty much in my towards the end of my twenties to really think about who matters to me. You know, it isn’t about quantity, it’s all about quality. And I know that that’s something that I really admire about you Art is just the way that you are fully present. And that when we were even speaking in that room in the ballroom, there are people and loud things happening, but it just felt we were totally locked into our conversation and I felt like the only person in the room, and I felt like we were the only people in the room having that conversation. And that’s something I so value and a friend, you know in a peer and I’m just really grateful that you have that ability.
ART: Thank you. I mean thank you much but that is, that also is just how I am. But I wanted to address something about social media that you brought up people joining a lot of groups and because I’m the person who is in a lot of groups, but yet you know what it means for me is because I get to pick out certain individuals out of the group because I know that I cannot connect with everybody in the group, but there are individuals in certain groups and I have formed some really great relationships with some people, individuals at a, at of the many groups. I’m in the, does that make sense to you?
“The past doesn't dictate the future. But the past patterns can show you what your unchanged future looks like if you do nothing.” -Phoebe Mroczek Click To Tweet
PHOEBE: Absolutely. That’s a, I think it’s, there’s this con or this thought that you have to scream louder than everybody else. And you know, it obviously depends on the group but I, I’m the same way in that I have specific groups for specific people or you know, I’m in there for a specific reason and so that I can show up fully, but I think it’s when, I don’t know what this, all my marketing, you know, we all have just, that’s what you have to do is you jump into this group and just spam everybody with, with what you’re doing and what you’re up to and how you look better than everybody else. And that just creates more of, creates more chaos –
ART: –Yeah clutter, i call it clutter.
PHOEBE: -and or noise. Absolutely.
ART: Yeah, and I, you know I happen to agree with you on that, that point. It’s for me, you know, cause I’m older and I have not grown up with social media. I am not, I mean, I’m 71 years old and, so the whole concept of social media, I have not been involved in, in the sense of it being ingrained in me. I, and I’ve kind of been in the background watching it grow in, got involved. I think probably, probably what Facebook came out, what in 2001 or two or three, whatever it was for and watch Facebook grow and, and the different things there. So you know, my perspective of it, oh, that is a, from an older, more mature, I don’t know if that’s the word I’m looking for it just from more of an outside looking and because I don’t use social media to tout my life or my skills or anything like that, I actually use it for what I think it is best designed for is to create individual relationships so –
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: -you know, I don’t know if that makes sense. I’m kind of rambling about that one cause it’s still probably shaking around in my brain.
PHOEBE: No, it definitely makes sense and I think you have a good perspective in that you’ve seen both sides with, you know, with and without. And I can say I’ve seen both sides, but I’ve, you know, I was in college when Facebook came out so I didn’t have it growing up as a teenager, but you know, and I have nieces and nephews who are of that age. So getting to see them grow up with social media has been, has been a really interesting, are sparked a lot of interesting conversations for us about comparing yourself about touting all the great things you’re doing and creating this facade. And, and I think that actually sets me up perfectly and probably you up perfectly to actually to meet the people and then get to know them. And that is what, as you said, is what it’s designed to do is create connection and actually facilitate that connection. So I think it’s, I think you do have a really interesting perspective on what social media is and what it is not, and I think people can drive a lot of value from that.
ART: Yeah. I’ve created some really, really close relationships with people that I would have never had the opportunity to meet had it not been for social media and for –
ART: -again, me reaching out to them, are they them reaching out to me? I wouldn’t have been at the new media summit if it hadn’t been for somebody reaching out and said, hey, this is something that you should go to, you know, because you would fit in with this group. And that’s how I got involved with a new media summit, you know, and going to that meeting, golly, just so many great people and all the podcasts that I’ve been on and in it, it started me on the idea of, I always had the idea of wanting to do a podcast because I, I thought I had a lot to share with people and could help people and, and that, and it put me over the edge of really deciding that this is what I wanted to do because I don’t have to travel as much. And there, you know, there’s a lot of benefits in doing a podcast, so I’ve really, really enjoyed it. You know, I consider it a blessing to have met you and, and so many other people there. I think that –
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: -the relationship that you and I are developing is, is special and I wouldn’t have had it.
ART: If it wasn’t for social media getting me to that summit. So it, you know, it’s interesting how, how everything, the synergy of everything works. Let’s talk about that, you know, about life and how, how it brings us together because, you and I both know that this life is fragile. And again, if we don’t step out and make the effort to meet people, we wouldn’t, it wouldn’t happen. But once it does, what we do with it is what really, really makes the difference. You know, we don’t, I know you and I don’t use it to promote or to do that. I mean, we have genuine caring for people. I mean anyone that knows you and I know that we care about people and we want to help as many people as we can.
PHOEBE: I think it’s, yeah, I think it’s really obvious to I mean, I think the promotion does it there are different ways to do it. And it’s interesting that my background is in marketing and that I’ve been behind the scenes of big brands and people who have had really successful businesses because I w I was the marketing machine behind that, you know, behind the scenes. And it took me a couple of years of watching that consistently thinking to myself, well I don’t, this doesn’t really, it doesn’t necessarily resonate with me and how I want to operate in business and life, but it resonates with me for that person, if that makes sense. And so the things that they were doing it, there are, I feel like I’m always talking about waging war on these blueprints in the five step formula for doing all these things. And, and the reason that I do that and do realize that it’s helpful for some people, whether you’re, you know, ta talking about business or life and so it’s, here is the five step formula. But what people don’t realize is that everything is really, and that comes from a number of different things, but that everything is truly unique to who you are. And I think that the success that you’re seeking in your business is really found in the clarity of your own identity. And so when you are able to step back and say, here’s how I want to operate in my life, okay great that’s the first layer. Now, how do you want to operate in your business? What does that look like? And I think that genuine care really can come through. The Passion can come through if you are fully aligned with who you are before you ever talk about the things that you’re doing and the next project or promotion that you want to be promoting on social media, that can just come through really cohesive incoherently in a way that feels seamless. So people just want to be a part of your vision they want to be a part of who you are. And I know that in the way that you operate are online is just with such grace and ease and simplicity that and this magnetism that just draws people to you. And that’s, you know, ultimately what I’m looking for in my business to be doing with other people is how do we really extract the pieces of who you are and the way that you choose to live your life so that you can go and create a business that is a fun, easy and honest expression of who you are, not the different elements of your business that you want to spotlight and the other parts that you want to keep, you know, keep hidden. So if you can create that in your life and you understand the pieces that go into your identity and how you operate in life, how you show up for your friends, for people that matter to you, how you continue to initiate great conversations that once you figured that part out, the rest is the easy part. That’s just creating a marketing funnel or some sort of, you know, message that reflects who you are.
“Everything is truly unique to who you are. And I think that the success that you're seeking in your business is really found in the clarity of your own identity.’ -Phoebe Mroczek Click To Tweet
ART: I think what you just said is probably the most powerful marketing education any listener could ever receive. What you just described so eloquently is what idealistically marketing should be about. And so, well put Phoebe, it just so well put. I, I just, it just a, it almost brings me to tears when I hear you say that because I have no marketing skills at all. I don’t, I don’t, and I don’t want to say I don’t care about marketing, but it isn’t why I’m on earth. I’m not on earth to be a marketer. I’m on earth to be Art Costello, I’m on earth to help others grow. And you put it so eloquently with, with how I wish so many other marketers did, did that. Cause you know, and I know that there’s so many marketers out there that look at it as funnel a, you know, funnel this and funnel that, create this and create that. And they take the, –
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: -the, the heart out of it. There’s no heart in marketing anymore on the Internet, it’s all about the dollars and cents and there’s more to life than dollars and cents. Because when it’s all said and done, when you have to say your final piece and, and stand before our maker, it has nothing to do with dollars and cents. It’s about how you’ve lived. And that’s what matters, matters more than anything else. And that’s part of what we learn when we, when we lose loved ones, and we start prioritizing what’s important in our lives. And yeah, we all need to make money and we all need to, to be able to survive. But you know, the House that I live in is a, is, 2000 square foot. I’ve lived in a 6,000 square foot house on 10 acres.
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: How I lived was no different in that house than I live in this house. I just had more, you know, I had more. And it comes and goes, money comes in those. But what you have in your heart and soul and your existence is really what the measure –
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: -of you really becomes in the eyes of everybody. You know, some people admire people who have millions and millions of dollars and do all of these incredible things. But I also admire the people that have very little and do so much. You know, there’s so many people that have so little, but yet they go out and share their lives every day. You know, feeding other homeless people and creating good deeds in this world, volunteering at hospitals. But a lot of times they’re not, not given the credit or looked up to the way that, that we really should. Those should be the people that we honor because they really don’t do it for, for the bucks. They do it for the goodness in their hearts and wanting to share them and help somebody –
PHOEBE: Can I, I just wanted to share one thing that just came up as you were saying that I had a really just a, I remember it being a real turning point in my life. I was 29 and a half and nearing 30 and just having this breakdown that I was not going to be a millionaire at 30 and I, I remember I exactly where I was. I was living in Berlin at the time and one of my friends said to me, he goes, well, you’ve got six months to make $1 million. How does that feel? And I just thought, oh my like there was just this heaviness about everything that I was doing and I was just getting really down on myself. And he goes, right, well how would your life change if you had $1 million right now if I just handed you $1 million? And I sat with that for a couple of minutes and I was like, whoa. I mean, I, I’d fly first class. And he goes, okay, great. What else? I was like, well, I would have maybe two homes or three homes. I don’t, I don’t know. And he goes, okay, what else? And I, I couldn’t really, at that time, I was like, well, what is he getting at? And he goes, Phoebe, you would still, by the same, you know, $14 jeans and wear them for $10 or for 10 years, you know, that you have forever, you would still bye. You know, you would still be hunting in the bargain barrels for things. You would still be doing all these same things but that’s because that doesn’t matter to you. And if you look at all these things that I’m taught, it’s like I just want the experience. And I remember thinking to myself, oh my gosh, I have been chasing this dream of being a millionaire when actually I already am. I already feel that and I all the things that I want or have wanted at the time I already had. I W you know, as we, or as you mentioned earlier, I had already camped in the Serengeti and gone shark diving and you know, traveled and done all this stuff without being a millionaire. So I was living in a millionaire’s body, just not accepting the fact that I didn’t need $1 million to get all those things and to really, I hadn’t really felt that and in that moment at 29 and a half I was like, wow, I feel great. And so as 30 approached, I just thought, I am, I’m already, I have the millionaire feeling and to me that was enough.
ART: What I find interesting is I wonder when you were saying that, I was wondering if you were a millionaire and doing those same things. What your perception and perspective would be, unlike would it be the same or would it be is or was it different because you weren’t a millionaire and you were experiencing all this traveling and meeting these people? I think it would be, would have been different.
PHOEBE: Hmm. Because you’d be on because you wouldn’t be engaging with the same people. Is that what you mean?
ART: I think engaging in the same with the same people, but even more so your perspective. I think because I’ve had money and I’ve not had money, I think that my perspective and perception change when I, when I didn’t have money and I, you know, I don’t mean that in a trivial way. I, I don’t know if I’m explaining it right. But when I had money, the way I did things I think we’re different, the way I traveled. Of course, the way you traveled makes a big difference, you know, what you for fly first class versus business, you know, it’s just different. There’s just a different perspective when you have money and don’t have money. And actually I enjoy it more not having money. It just, I think it brings me closer to earth I think that it makes, it made me, it made me feel a little bit more secure in things and not as much as a challenge and I love the challenge of living. I, I actually thrive on the challenge of living versus being comfortable in living. Does that make sense?
PHOEBE: Absolutely. I’m very much, I’m very much the same and I talk about, or just the way that my life has been has been, you know, you said it was this fearlessness and I think it was putting myself in the way, right? Putting myself into things that actually did scare me and stepping into the unknown. And it’s very much my personality to want to figure things out. And so I have a rule for myself that I’ve lived in a number of different places and I always said I will not leave until I have a 10 day itinerary of somewhere or wherever it was that I was living. And people think that’s really weird and why 10 days? And I say cause anyone can make afford a seven day itinerary, but you have to really know somewhere to make a 10 day itinerary. And so that I ended up staying in Berlin three extra months because I didn’t feel like I could a hundred percent create that 10 day itinerary. I just left San Francisco feeling really confident in the 10 day itinerary. And the reason for that is because I, all the places I’ve moved, to make sure, yep. All the places I’ve moved since college so my early twenties and actually even in college I moved not knowing anybody and that is for me, that’s not something new that’s just something exciting and that’s the adventure element. So whereas you said the challenge of living and like the adventure of living, what does that feel like and what does it feel like to land somewhere where you don’t know anybody and what a cool opportunity I had and continue to have and all these places that I guess it’s almost like a reinvention. Who do I really want to step into today? And that feels so exciting. Even as I look forward to Austin, it’s like really stepping into who I am and people don’t know me from anybody. And that’s so exciting and I love that. I love the element of the unknown I love the adventure of what it is to be alive, to really thrive in your life and your relationships and your health. What does that mean to you specifically? And so for me it’s that piece of how can I figure this out? And as soon as it’s that comfort level, which I could go off on a whole other tangent about the, you know, people talking about your comfort zone, I think it should be called your discomfort zone. Cause why would you want to step outside of it if it was so comfortable? It doesn’t make any sense to me. And so if you, I get these, you know, it’s almost like people talk about the travel bug or the, you know, the itch to travel. And that’s just a comfort thing for me. When I start to feel too comfortable, I want to break out and challenge myself and do something different and you know, go and have a new conversation that I’ve never had before and start as a beginner some way in some ways. And that’s a big, you know, that’s challenging for me, for my ego, for all of these things to go from a podcast where I had almost a million downloads to zero because I knew that I was, I wanted to do something different is I think the way that I have. I’m really proud of the fact that I’ve chosen to live my life in that way.
ART: It’s one of the things that I love about you, I mean, is that, but you know, the thing that came to mind for me is one of the things I teach people how to expect the unexpected, –
ART: how you do that. And, I think that when we lived in this arena of confinement that, that we kind of live in nowadays where everything has to be structured and figured out, you know, before we ever do it. Does it, it’s not conducive to expecting the unexpected. And that’s why it throws people off so much. When something unexpected happens, I learned it in Vietnam, you know, because you never knew what was gonna happen next and so you have to become very aware of the unexpected. And, that was one of the lessons I learned in Vietnam. So, you know, it’s, we can talk about that another time.
PHOEBE: –Hmm Mm.
ART: We’re nearing the end of our, our time together and, of course I love it. And, enjoy you immensely. Can’t wait for you to come to Austin. Can you tell us where we can get a hold of you? What’s coming up, what’s in your future, what your, what your plans are and or if there is no plans, but can you kind of end it with a what you want the audience to know?
PHOEBE: Absolutely. Well, I would say I’m very accessible online. I love to be, I think that’s something that is really important to me is to be engaging with people, right? Not just putting out content and hoping someone likes it. I really want to get in there and have a conversation so you can find me all over the Internet. Really the primary places are my podcasts as you, as you mentioned, it’s called unbecoming and, if you want to listen to it, you can go to unbecoming podcast.com forward slash iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. That’s where, that’s pretty much the main podcasting platforms that I am present on and then I’m always on Instagram, I love Instagram stories. I love to share my life with people that, that care people that resonate with what I’m talking about. And so that’s, I’m instagram.com forward slash Phoebe Mroczek and I’m sure that will be spelled out somewhere, you know, cause that is not an easy name. And, and then on Facebook, so same thing, facebook.com forward slash Phoebe Mroczek one. And what is in the pipeline for me is just, I love in person events that’s a big one. The move to Austin is I my intention for it is to really cultivate a community that I feel I can truly step into and be myself and have that be an expression and be able to feel fully expressed so getting to Austin in person events, international events, which is really exciting. Um, a potential road trip to go and meet some new people coming in the summer, I believe. So I’m still making plans for that. But really the focus is, you know, coaching people that are in a transitional phase that want to kind of step forward and do great things in their lives and in their business. And that coupled with just living a great life, a fun, exciting, adventurous, ease filled life, that is really what I’m about. So that is kind of what I, what I’m up to in the next couple months and that could always change. I give myself definitely giving myself permission to change my mind a lot and, and I do that. I take that liberty very to heart quite frequently.
ART: Well baby, thank you for being with us today and I really look forward to doing this again and I know we will soon. And, I think that we have a lot of great things coming together and when you come to Austin, we’re going to do a lot of exploring and, we’ll see what the plan works out for, what, what we can expect from the unexpected in Austin, Texas.
PHOEBE: I love it.
ART: Again, thank you. And I’m always here for you and I’m always here for my guests the same as you are for yours and in the audience and it’s been a pleasure and, and I thank you again from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Okay. Well, I just wanted to say thank you for who you are in my life. I just am so grateful that we did have that conversation, that we have continued to connect and to have these really powerful conversations. I’m so grateful for the way that you show up. You talked about for your audience, but for people who aren’t aware of the way that you show up for other people, I can fully attest to the fact that you know, you’re so your presence and your generosity and the way that you really take time out of your busy schedule to make people feel like they matter is something that I don’t see very often and I’m, I’m so grateful to you so I’m excited for your show. I’m excited to get to Austin and I’m just really grateful and honored to be here. So thank you for having me.
ART: Well, it’s a pleasure and thank you for those kind words. And I think it’s why we connect so well is because we do care about each other deeply. I mean, we really do you’re important to me. So, and, and I’m grateful that you’re in my life also.
PHOEBE: Thank you.
ART: Thank you Phoebe.
If there is almost as painful as the death of a loved one, that would be its twin- regret. Phoebe Mroczek knows on a deep level how true that is. She lived her youth chasing the wind, following what others want and believe is true achievement. But when her father passed away, she realized how fleeting life is. So, she embarked on her journey, literally packed her bags to travel great distances helping others as much as she could, as far as she could, to avoid having regrets later in life. She is a marketing strategist, podcaster, and a recovering perfectionist. But along with pursuing her passion in business, she enjoys living for NOW diving with Great White Sharks, camping in the Serengeti and motor biking across Europe. She lived and continues to live through different seasons of life to find and fulfil her purpose.
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