It’s not about us but it’s also about what are we a channel for so that the divine can come through us and then express something completely new that nobody else can express.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
Sexuality has been marred by misconceptions and misrepresentations fed to us by what we call technological advancement. Corrupting influences constantly exert their power in any way and by any means possible to break the last remaining seed of faith we have for love and intimacy. Today, Art sits with Divine Sexuality and Healing Teacher, Victoria Vives Khuong to discuss this pressing and relevant topic. They also discuss how to rise up despite prejudice and how to find joy and success. Victoria shares how she uses her second chance at life to help men and women who are struggling with sexuality issues to gain clarity and healing as well. Join in to today’s episode and find the answers to your love, intimacy, and relationship dilemmas!
Listen to the podcast here:
01:27 A Second Chance At Life
08:10 Everything About A Woman
13:31 The Truth About Being Sexy
21:50 Standing Out Different
26:06 Master Sexuality
37:33 The Path of Joy and Success
43:52 Live and Enjoy
Master Divine Sexuality today! Join in as @myexpectation and @VictoriaVives uncover the true meaning of sexuality and it can benefit you and your relationship. #masteryourexpectations #epiphanies #sexuality #intimacy #spirituality Click To Tweet
07:03 “When we know that there’s something more and we don’t live up to what our expectations of more are, then we start to feel bad about ourselves and we don’t feel we’re being true to who we truly are.” -Art Costello
08:59 “All the hidden traumas that we sometimes hold don’t allow us to fully flourish and express our true self… but we need to truly be our own expression.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
10:30 “All of those things that love’s supposed to be is when it really becomes the most powerful divine sexuality that there is.” -Art Costello
11:05 “[Sexuality] is about true intimacy with oneself first, so that then we can actually join with our beloved.” -Art Costello
35:35 “We are who we expect ourselves to be.” -Art Costello
37:18 “Each of us needs to get into the role so that we all work together as an organism.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
37:33 “We need to trust that what we desire to do is going to be what brings us success, joy, happiness, and our only true gift to the world.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
43:32 “It’s not about us but it’s also about what are we a channel for so that the divine can come through us and then express something completely new that nobody else can express.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
46:20 “Nothing happens to us. Everything happens for us. -Art Costello
47:14 “Sometimes we have to graduate from the shadows so that we can go into something brighter.” -Victoria Vives Khuong
45:01 “Savour the day… Make it count… Take that moment TODAY!” -Victoria Vives Khuong
Meet Victoria Vives:
Victoria is a Divine Sexuality and Healing teacher, having trained over 4,000 healers internationally. She is also a #1 Best-selling author and an International Speaker and Teacher. Victoria grew up in dictatorial Spain with a single mom, under an ultra conservative regime where sex was strictly for procreation and a woman’s highest aspiration was to serve her husband. Rising from poverty, racism and abuse, Victoria buried her femininity, numbing her pain through workaholism and becoming one of the first black faces in Spanish television. A near death experience propelled her to move to LA. Through her studies, she found the most powerful healing modality, recovering femininity and the savoring of life – Divine Sexuality.
Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies podcast. Today, Victoria Vives Khuong is our guest. Victoria is a Divine Sexuality and Healing Teacher having trained over 4,000 healers internationally, Victoria grew up in dictatorial Spain with a single mom under an ultra conservative regime where sex was strictly for procreation and a woman’s highest aspirations was to serve her husband. Rising from poverty, racism, and abuse, Victoria buried her femininity, numbing her pain through work and becoming one of the first black faces in Spanish television. A near death experience propelled her to move to LA through her studies. Victoria found the most powerful healing modality, recovering femininity and savoring of life, divine sexuality. I’m going to read now a section from Victoria’s book. When I read it, it just resonated with me, and I want the audience to hear this first before we hear Victoria’s story;
Could I really not count on anyone anymore? It was a life or death situation and it was painfully clear that I was on my own, nobody was going to help me. I had two choices, succumb to the torrent of fear, pain, confusion, and accept that this could be the end of my physical existence, or I could change my destiny and live. It is during extreme moments like this, that we, as humans can demonstrate our true potential as architects of our reality. At that moment, I knew that I had the power inside in my mind and heart to turn things around in a matter of seconds, I knew that dwelling within my terror would end in certain death.
This struck me in my soul, as you can tell. It’s at these moments when I was like nine years old and I had to figure out life and make a decision on my own. And with that, I’m going to lead in and let Victoria tell her story.
Welcome to the show, Victoria.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Thank you, Art. Thank you so much. I almost started crying. Thank you. Well, yeah, so life can be really a roller coaster of events. And I grew up in a very, very extreme — in Spain, so that already put the whole aspect of society and culture in a situation that was not very much in my advantage being a female, being black, and the only black I met until I was 14. So it was very challenging to even relate with somebody, I was like an extra terrestrial. And people would look at me like that, and they would touch my head like, can I touch your hair? And they couldn’t believe how my hair was. So it was very strange. And even then I just figured out, I see that men are the ones that are always succeeding, winning. Women’s? We are losers. I don’t want to be a woman. I’m going to do everything I can to learn from men and succeed. And so I did that. I pushed down my femininity and I started learning how to be more masculine going out into the world, making a name for myself, and I did. So I went, and I was in prime time television on a regular basis. I became a dancer, a hostess, and I was on television on a regular basis. However, there was a big emptiness inside and I needed to find out what that was, but I was so lost into it that I got into darkness, and darkness, and darkness. And then a near death experience drowning in the ocean brought everything to a different place. And suddenly it was like, Oh, my goodness. I thought I wanted to almost die. But now that I’m almost in that situation, I know I want to live, I want to be alive. So now I have a reassurance that, yes, I want to be here. I have a second opportunity and I’m going to make it count.“Savour the day… Make it count… Take that moment TODAY!” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
So from that moment on, I felt a new awakening in my life. I started receiving things that I didn’t receive before, I started practicing healing in 2000 and all of this got me into a totally different journey. But for some reason, that part of the healing arts was balanced for me with martial arts. So I went from reading all the dancing and television into being a martial artist, which brought me here to the US. And that was amazing because now I was working in Hollywood and appearing in films. And that was like a dream come true. I mean, imagine me as a poor little black girl in a poor neighborhood in Spain. And now, I was in Hollywood, living in Hollywood. Still, there were things that were not completely healed. So even though I became an energy human teacher after that, and I got married, and everything seemed like the dream came through, still, there was something within me that wasn’t flourishing and that was my femininity. So at that point, I started exploring, and even though I have Reiki, — healing and shamanism, all of that was super powerful, but nothing really healed me from within like divine sexuality. And with that, I was able to really understand what is to be a woman instead to try to be a man. Our society, sometimes I feel that invites us to be more competitive and feminine qualities, sometimes have not valued as much. So I recover that part of myself. And this was so necessary because, otherwise, with my husband–
Art Costello: It’s so interesting because, I mean, I can see you, and the audience can’t. You’re very beautiful in every sense of the word, and you have this radiant smile. And I can’t imagine in my mind, you, trying to be masculine. It’s just crazy to me, but that I understand. I understand what you’re saying. You would have to really try hard to be masculine, believe me, there’s something sometimes in this that just says there’s more. And when we know that there’s something more and we don’t live up to what our expectations of more are, then we start to feel bad about ourselves, or we don’t feel like we’re being true to who we truly are. And that’s one of the things that I loved about your book, because if you take nothing away from Victoria’s stories, she really found herself when she became who she was meant to be, who God created, this beautiful Spanish one that is just vibrant. It wasn’t until she truly recognized it and started moving towards her true divine self, whether it’s divine sexuality was the element missing, but truly it’s your divine self who you are and what makes you who you are is what’s great. And you’ve done some amazing things with it. So more to the story?“When we know that there's something more and we don't live up to what our expectations of more are, then we start to feel bad about ourselves and we don't feel we're being true to who we truly are.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes, I totally agree. Finding ourselves, when I shared about divine sexuality, it might sound like it’s a series of sexual posters for pleasure, but it’s not bad. The way I approach is, is about healing the hidden traumas that we have as women. So that’s for me, of course, I’m not a specialist in beating men, how to heal and be a man, but I know what it takes to be a woman. I grew up with three women, three women. So in my household, we were just all women. And that means I learned everything about being a woman. I went to an only girls school, so I really know that. And because of that, I realized when I found out about all the hidden traumas that we sometimes hold and don’t allow us to fully flourish and express our true self. As you said, that we need to express that, sometimes we are looking at the stereotypes that are out there, or how we should look, how we should speak, but we need to truly be our own expression. Sometimes, all the other roles are already taken, right?“All the hidden traumas that we sometimes hold don't allow us to fully flourish and express our true self… but we need to truly be our own expression.” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Yeah. And it’s one of the big things with me is that, I feel that you really find true happiness in finding your true self and who you are. And when we were talking about divine sexuality, I did not mean from a male perspective because many men think that sexuality is one thing. And that is the furthest thing from the truth. Sexuality is communication, touch, feeling, expression. I mean, there’s so many elements to being sexual outside of the actual physical act. Matter of fact, leading up to it is probably the greatest gift that men can learn. And this is from the male perspective. As soon as you learn that it is more than an act, that is a sharing of our spirit, our soul, and the unison, the union of the two in a relationship that is loving, caring, kind, all of those things that love’s supposed to be when it really becomes the most powerful divine sexuality that there is.“All of those things that love's supposed to be is when it really becomes the most powerful divine sexuality that there is.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes, that sounds amazing, exactly. For some reason, our media, if we look into magazines, or movies, the way they portray sexuality doesn’t give us real experience. And what it can bring for, especially for our partnership, it’s so essential. And sometimes we think we have to just perform in a certain way. Whereas, it’s so much more than that. It’s about true intimacy with oneself first, so that then we can actually join with our beloved.
”“[Sexuality Click To Tweet is about true intimacy with oneself first, so that then we can actually join with our beloved.” -Art Costello” username=””]
Art Costello: And what’s really, really worrisome to me right now in the upswing of the internet with pornography, and it is the furthest thing from what sexuality truly meant to be. And it’s just the bulk multi-billion dollar industry on the internet. And it’s teaching young men. And I’m actually very concerned, because I have four granddaughters and they’re going to have to grow up with men who have this idea that they’ve seen on the internet. And that truly concerns me. As a grandfather and as a parent, I teach my children to teach my grandchildren that, they need to start teaching my granddaughters about the true meaning of what love is and what communication is so they can understand that there’s something more to it than what, they’re going to have to fight off these guys at some point in their life. And we see it today, we see it all over.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Absolutely. And I feel that for us women, sometimes we get into this body shame and feeling that we have to actually act like in those films because maybe they think that we should do that. Or maybe we’re not going to be as sexy or as–
Art Costello: Attractive.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yeah. So that’s a big problem for us as well. As I come myself from working in entertainment, I have to actually embody being sexy in television and all of that, which doesn’t necessarily have to be good or bad, but I came to be in a place where everybody around me looked a certain way, and there was a representation of the real world. So then when I left television and I started seeing different body shapes, I was like, Oh, wow. There are different people, and I’m not used to that. And I think that there’s the fact of us watching those shows on a regular basis. It just impacts us in a way that is not positive. Thank God, now, we are seeing more plus size and different things. So it’s becoming a little more inclusive. I’m so glad for that.
Art Costello: Yeah. And with me, it goes back to the same thing when you live to the expectations of others and not yourself. It’s just not good, you’re not happy. You’ve got to live to your expectations. And that’s why I teach what I do about expectations and having a healthy management system for your expectations. Because if you don’t, you’re going to live to the expectations of others. And then Hollywood, boy, the expectations on actresses, and actors, and just the general public in Hollywood, I used to work in the recording industry in Hollywood. And when you talk in your book about Hollywood and Vine, I used to be at RCA Records a lot. So it’s right down the street from Hollywood and Vine so I’m very familiar with it. But we have a lot of things in common, and I’ll throw this one in my granddaughter and my late wife, their name was Victoria, it’s one of my favorite names.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Oh, well, my goodness. You know that I hated my name, can you believe that? And I just couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t even pronounce my name when I was small, I was like, Victoria,I couldn’t say it. I thought I had difficulty speaking so I took it off. So I transformed myself and I was like an adult, I’m going to be a new person, and I’m going to be triumphant, and I’m going to go out there. So he was like, no, you are VICTORIA, victory. It has a powerful meaning. Why we sometimes don’t accept ourselves. And with my hair, this thing happened, everybody is touching my hair. And I was seeing everybody with straight hair. So I have been wearing wigs and extensions for years. Can you believe that? For years.
Art Costello: Yes. It’s a beautiful name. I love it. And it resonated when we first met, I thought, Oh, another Victoria in my life.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes. Yes. How excited. I didn’t know that, I love you.
Art Costello: Can you take us through a journey and how your book not only helps, I mean, it’s such an intriguing, well-written, intertwining of your personal story with how you overcame things and how you manage things. And I love the ending when you talk about your husband, and how he co-wrote it with you, and helped you, all those things. But can you take us through that journey of writing the book with your husband and how it really worked? And I know all the hours it takes, I’ve only written one book. I probably started 12, but I’ve only gotten one completed.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Well, congratulations. That’s an accomplishment. I can tell, because I didn’t expect that it’s going to be so hard to write this book. I couldn’t believe it. I have written books for my students, so they are books about Reiki, sound healing, crystal healing, but this was different because it’s my life. So it’s like a view of what has happened in my life in a way that can serve the people reading it. And then what happens is that my husband and I are from completely different cultural backgrounds and also very different ideas. So to give you an idea–
Art Costello: Where is he from? Your husband.
Victoria Vives Khuong: He’s from here. He’s from Los Angeles, but his dad is from Vietnam. And his mom is from Texas, part Hispanic.
Art Costello: See how much we have in common? I’m a Vietnam veteran, I was in Vietnam, I was a Marine and I live in Austin, Texas now. I mean, there’s just so many commonalities we have.
Victoria Vives Khuong: This is amazing, I love it.
Art Costello: And you can see my Vietnam story on my YouTube channel. There’s a 17 minute video on there about my life story. And it’s got some amazing photographs of something that I did in Vietnam that I’m very proud of. So I literally like, I will let you and the audience see that. I mean, most of these audience has already seen it, but I like–
Victoria Vives Khuong: Can’t wait to see it, now I’m curious. So yeah, writing it was crazy. Just to give you an idea, we called our company “EarthSky People” because he’s like from the earth and I am from the sky. More like not related. So anytime that we look at an idea, we see it from opposite perspectives, almost. But the richness in this is that we can bring both together. So it takes a lot of work to be able to nail down the stories or the thing that we are working on to see what is true from both perspectives, and this is what brings the richness to the book. So whether somebody that is more esoteric in a spiritual, or somebody that is more intellectual, they both can find information that they can relate to. So that was the work of art that we wanted to do to just say how can we make this make sense for people of all backgrounds? And also my stories in Spain for me were normal. So for me, just an example, it was normal to see in television a commercial with little black people that wear peanuts covered by chocolate, and then a white woman eating them. So that for me, that was normal. And then I was in the street and they called me that, because I was the only black. So for me, that was normal. But when I presented it to my husband, of course, this is not normal. But when you grew up with something, you were like the fish in the water, so that was very rich to be able to work together.
Art Costello: Can you tell us some of your story going and living in Spain? Because I found it truly enlightening and educational. And I don’t want to use the word hurtful, but it hurt in a way when I read it, that you had to experience that, but then it made you who you are. It made you this beautiful spirit that is just out there. So can you tell the audience some of what it was like living under the Spanish rule that you did?
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yeah, it was very embarrassing. I just didn’t want to disgust anybody, I didn’t want to bother anybody, but I would just be walking in the street, and a car would pass and scream at me. So everybody was looking at me, and I was a little girl, so I couldn’t defend myself or do anything. So I didn’t know what to do in my family where my mom was in her late teens when she had me. So they didn’t also understand how they could protect me, or explain to me, don’t worry little girl, this is not about you. This is just because you’re the only one like this. And people by nature, they feel afraid, or without people that are not like them. But for me, it was always, I would wait for people to come to me because I didn’t know if they went to hate me just because of my skin being different, and as you can see, I’m not very dark. Like I am whiter than some, not white people, but in Spain, the ones that we consider white in Spain, I might be very similar in skin, but the fact of having my hair different and just a little bit more of that — people really discriminated against me a lot.
Art Costello: When your hair, I mean, my hair is just like yours when I had hair. So when I was young, my hair was, it could just be like an Afro.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Really?
Art Costello: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was awesome. I posted on Facebook, some of the old pictures of me with my hair out like that, but I know when I wore my hair like that in the late 60’s and early 70’s, and I know that people used to say terrible things to me just because they were prejudiced and had these insulting things. But I already knew at that age, I already knew how to handle it. So it wasn’t foreign for me to handle it where someone like you who grew up with it, and had been in that culture, and had been repressed, because you were raised in a Catholic society, right? And I read a portion of your book where you stated that men and women, marriages worked to procreate children, and that was it. And sex as a–
Victoria Vives Khuong: I see basically, which is part of the work that I do now, because seriously the voices in my head, every time that I would be with my husband, we’re like, Oh, my goodness. I’m so ashamed of just even having relations with my husband. And that’s terrible, it follows you through life unless you do something. So that was one of the big things that I was indoctrinated to believe. Because being Christian, I love everything about Jesus and people being a spiritual, but when you are imbued with those beliefs that sex is about thing, how are you going to have a husband?
Art Costello: Yeah. I mean, how was your right relationship going to be successful if you can’t shed those views? But you know what, this is what’s really important that I think that you and I need to get to the audience, for the audience that’s out there, because there is a lot of sexually repressed people, women and men who have this view out there who don’t know how and what steps to take, and how to maneuver through it. And that’s what you do, you help people come to grips with that. Are there any tips that you can give the audience to start? I mean, other than this go seek help kind of thing. Anyone in the audience, I want you to contact Victoria, do that. But are there any other tips you can give us to help people break through the fear of stepping out to do that?
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yeah. So first of all, the most important is to really understand that this is a conditioning that we have been programmed with since we were small. So we get used to it and we think that’s the truth. And it’s almost like a visceral response to just having sex. But when we start realizing, at least that’s the first step to make it intellectual and understand, okay, this was a condition. Therefore, I can have a different condition and it will become true in the same way. So that would be the first step, to just intellectually understand it. Of course, things don’t end up there because intellectually it’s not viscerally, and viscerally is where we really, really make the transformation. So we want to make sure to start working with that. And actually, this last week I wrote an ebook on how to go from the processes to heal into bisexuality and the ecstatic experience. So I am happy to give that to anybody who wants it. I have it on my website if anybody would like to download it, for sure.
Art Costello: Yeah. We’ll include that in the show notes. If you’ll send it to me, we’ll include it in the show notes so people can get that book because it’s much needed. I know this is going to sound like a crazy question, but I was raised Catholic, and I went to a Catholic school until the sixth grade. And then in the third grade, I had a priest who was my instructor. And believe it or not, we were reading Shakespeare in the third grade. And one of the most, I don’t want to say bizarre, one of the most hurtful things that a priest ever did to me was I was sitting in the class and I looked out the window, because they were working on the windows of the church, and they had this big steam glass windows, and they were lifting them up with a crane to replace the windows in the church. And I was so enthralled by that, and I’m looking and all of a sudden the priest caught me looking at it. He made me put my hands on the table, on the table of the desk, and then he took a cat o’ nine tail, and he whipped my hands till they were so red and raw, it was unreal. And I went home and I told my mom and dad, I said: “Look at my hands.” And my parents said: “What did you do?” And I said: “I was looking out the window of the church. And they were putting windows, new windows in.” And I would say the priest’s name, but I said: “Father saw and caught me. And he whipped me.” And I expected my parents to say, I’m going to go tell Father never to touch you again, blah, blah, blah. Instead they said to me: “You must have deserved it then.” And that’s stuck with me so much of my life. And what the church does to us sometimes is so impactful because we put priests and nuns in such high standings. And we also know now that many, many priests were not very nice men. Nuns could be every bit as mean as priests could. I mean, I’m very sensitive. I have always been sensitive. I’ve always shed tears very easily. I’ve always been in touch with my feelings that God created me that way. I don’t mind crying, I’m not embarrassed by it. But the nuns used to say to me, because I would read a story, it could be the Bible, or it could be a book we were given, and tears would come down my eyes. And they used to say to me, the nuns used to say: “Stop those crocodile tears. You shouldn’t be crying. Boys don’t cry.” Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I could never understand it. I thought they were supposed to be compassionate, but it’s probably what led me to leave the traditional church. And when I got older, but did you ever have any experiences with priests and nuns that affected you?
Victoria Vives Khuong: I have been so fortunate, Art. I just didn’t, I loved being at school, and I was a very mild kid. I don’t know, I just love the Nuns. I did have an experience once, but when I was more adult, that taught me that it’s not about the religion itself, but about how each person practices it.
Art Costello: Oh, absolutely.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Once I entered a church and the priest was like telling us that we are sinners. I was like, okay, I don’t need any more of this. And some people sometimes are very strong in their beliefs. Sometimes they might tell me that because of the things that I do, like Reiki and all of these [inaudible]. Doubting me, that I just want to help people in the other way. I feel that some people take it a little bit to the extreme and it doesn’t become spiritual anymore, in my opinion.
Art Costello: Yeah. And I think there are a lot of people that take it to extremes. Because I know you work with crystals, and Reiki, and all of those things, and I could see where some people would say that is voodoo church, kind of thing. That’s anti in what we believe in, and all that. But the other part of it is when people, whenever people do things that are extreme, it always seems to have a negative effect more than a positive effect. We hear about cults, and we hear about all these, I could never imagine how all the people, I don’t know if you’re aware of what we call Jonestown, where people went to Guyana, from San Francisco, and these people committed suicide because the Reverend Jones had them drink this Kool-aid that he had that just killed all the people. I mean, it killed like 6 or 700 people I think. And it was back in the 70’s, I believe. But people follow religious leaders because they trust them, because they believe in what they’re saying and everything, and they’re not always right. And what I want people to understand is that God gave us all the tools to be successful. He gave us all the tools to make the right choices and decisions, that’s why he gave us free will. He gave us all of these tools. He didn’t give us these tools to have somebody else tell us how to live our lives. He gave those tools to each one of us so we can live our lives with him inside of our hearts and souls, and be the person that he created. Because I believe that God created each and every one of us in this special way, with these special gifts, with these special talents that we just need to share, we just need to step out, stop being fearful, stop being afraid and just do it. And that’s what your book is really about. It just solidified it. And by the way, I’ve mentioned Victoria’s book, In a Matter of Seconds: A Story to Empower Yourself Into Love, Success and Manifestation. I got it too, right here. So we have it. We want you to get it, but it really is, in the manifestation part of it is what I really, really loved because I believe we are who we expect ourselves to be. That’s what Expectation Therapy is all about with me, because I learned it at nine, when I went up on that hill and laid on my back, and had a conversation with God, and asked what was going to become of me. And I lived that truth. I became who God wanted me to be in. I’m getting old, and I’m 73 now. And yeah, August 26th, I will be 73. And hadn’t I lived the way that I lived to my true expectations, because I knew that that’s what God expected of me, I wouldn’t be living the journey I am now. And that’s what your book is about. Your book is about living to your true self which has empowered you. And you can do that through manifesting the things and really believing, it’s a belief system.“We are who we expect ourselves to be.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes. Many times, I just think about how I grew up in the people around me, and I would see them in their brightest, highest light. Like, yes, you can do this. Yes, you can do that. And they wouldn’t believe it. So that’s the first expectation, as you say, expectation., If they don’t even expect that they are not going to take any step toward it. And what happens is that sometimes we just maybe look up at other people instead to look at what we really want, because we are afraid we cannot make it happen. And I see, us humans, all together like humankind, each of us really needs to get into the role so that we all work together as an organism. Otherwise, it’s like having a full body that has 20 lungs, or 20 noses, 20 hearts. It’s not gonna work, we really need to trust that what we desire to do is going to be what brings us success, joy, happiness, and not only that, our only true gift to the world. And I see people giving up their dreams and it just breaks my heart. So I always think of a friend of mine, if I can share that, he was a fan of Michael Jackson in Spain. You know, Spain is different from here. Here it will be more normal, but in Spain, it was like he was a weird person. But he was so passionate about it that he just pursued it with all his heart. And he put all his time, even though people were just like, ah, whatever. So finally, not only met Michael Jackson and some families related to him, but he became a very well known producer in Spain. So now he’s recording music for artists in Spain. So sometimes, we don’t know what the path is going to be. But if we follow our heart, that’s our true compass and guidance.“Each of us needs to get into the role so that we all work together as an organism.” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Well, I tell you that that is such a truth. Because I tell you, I never knew at nine years old, what my path was going to be, how I was going to live. A matter of fact, I really, I’ll fill you in on a little bit of my story. I’ve always done everything in my life I’ve wanted to do. I’ve worked in the entertainment industry, I played baseball, I own my own business. And then in 2006, I lost my wife, Victoria to ovarian cancer, and she died in my arms on September 16th, 2006. And my whole life kind of just went to pieces. I went back out on the lawn of the ranch of our ranch in Austin, Texas, and looked into the sky just as I did when I was nine years old and asked God what was going to become of me again. And I heard him say through me: “I’ve given you all the tools. You just need to use them.” And I got up and started living life again. And that led me to write the book Expectation Therapy. It led me to do speaking tours, and it led me to do podcasts that I’m doing, it’s led me to all these things, and has invigorated me so much, and has given me so much reason to be thankful. And hadn’t I followed that path at nine years old, and had the patience to be true to it and live it to its fruition, to where it’s going to take me, who knows? I don’t know what God has in store for me tomorrow. I don’t know, none of us do.“We need to trust that what we desire to do is going to be what brings us success, joy, happiness, and our only true gift to the world.” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
I mean, I was in Vietnam, he could have ended it all then. I mean, I think of all the times in my life, I’ve raced boats, I’ve done everything I’ve ever wanted to do, and he could’ve taken my life at any minute, but he never chose to do that. And there’s gotta be a purpose for it. And that’s what we’re talking about is living the purpose that God has for you in your life and living it fully. I mean, just because you’re a Christian, and I’m a Christian and all that doesn’t mean that we have to follow this path of abstinence, or all these other things that some people put on. They say, Christians just stuffy shirts and blah, blah, blah. They don’t live life. And all that I’m telling you, this Christian lived life to the fullest. I’ve seen it all. I’ve done it all. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world. You’re on that same path. You’re a young lady, and you’ve got a lot of life to live, and it’s going to be fun. Because I want to stick around about 135 so I could watch all these people that I’ve interviewed and see how their lives have come full circle. Because I’m telling you, it’s really beautiful. I mean, I remarried. I have a beautiful wife, I would have never thought that. I always thought that Victoria would be my love all, end all. And she didn’t, because she released me from my marriage vows when she was dying so I could go find somebody else. I mean, what a beautiful thing to do.
Victoria Vives Khuong: And even that took you into accomplishing all these new paths. And sometimes it’s just like that, things happen to us like my near death experience that put us on track. It’s like, this is devastating, but are we going to just stay down? Or are we going to honor what happened and just see what is next? What is that that we can really give to the world? Because it’s not about us, us, us, but it’s also about what we are attaining for so that the divine can come through us and then express something completely new that nobody else can express. I mean, for your sharing and all that you have accomplished, that’s amazing. I didn’t know your story. Thank you so much for sharing.“It's not about us but it's also about what are we a channel for so that the divine can come through us and then express something completely new that nobody else can express.” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Well, just look back on your own story and look at all that you’ve overcome to get where you’re at now. I mean, the lesson in it is not to give up, to follow our heart, follow our passion and be the best of everything that we can be. I mean, just live, live, live. Just live and enjoy it because it’s all a blessing.
Victoria Vives Khuong: I love that. And Art, sometimes the thing that I started doing also that is part of tapping in my divine feminine is to also take life a little more lightly, and really look for the joy, and the pleasure, the enjoyment and excitement. So almost like little kids, like we covered in that inner child. Sometimes we just take it so seriously, and we are so much in our heads. So how can we just get into our bodies and into disconnecting with everything that is around us so that we can express something completely new?
Art Costello: Do you know that expectations are the simplest and the most controllable form that we have in our repertoire of tools that we can control? It’s the one sole thing that we have total control of, and it determines the course and direction of our life, how we expect. Because we see our expectations either in fear or faith. Fear stops everything, but faith moves mountains. And when you live that way, I mean, that’s what I learned at nine. That’s just why I’ve been able to do what I’ve done.
Victoria Vives Khuong: That’s amazing.
Art Costello: It is amazing because I look back today. And I didn’t know all this at the time, but I knew it in my heart. I knew inside of me what I was supposed to, I could tell you all the wrong things I’ve done all my life. I mean, I’m not perfect and I never meant to be perfect. There’s some things that I wished I had done differently, but when I look at my life, I go, you know what? I’ve had a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed it. And I’ve learned so much because everything that we do is meant to teach us a lesson. And my big thing that I’ve been harping on lately is, I believe nothing happens to us. Everything happens for us.“Nothing happens to us. Everything happens for us. -Art Costello Click To Tweet
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes, absolutely. I love that.
Art Costello: It’s how we perceive it. It’s how we process it.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Yes. And I love that you bring that up because it reminds me of my time when I was with the bad guys. I was going into darker and darker places, and it took me like a — to overcome this and feel like healed from that. I was like, how could I go with these terrible people and allow myself to be in this environment? But now, when I look back, it’s like, what an adventure, my goodness. With all these crazy guys that were upto no good, but at the same time, I learned so much. By contrast, I learned the opposite as well. So sometimes, this is not an accident. Sometimes, we have to graduate in the dark or in the shadows so that we can go into something brighter.“Sometimes we have to graduate from the shadows so that we can go into something brighter.” -Victoria Vives Khuong Click To Tweet
Art Costello: That is such a truth. And we’re getting near to our time to end.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Oh, my goodness, that was like, it felt like really fast.
Art Costello: It is really fast, and we will do it again. Believe me, we will do it again. We will definitely connect. I’d like to give the audience any parting thoughts that you have, and any places where they can get a hold of you, and connect with you because I encourage my audience to become involved with my guests. And I definitely want them to go buy your book. So can you tell us all the details for the next hour? Tell us all the things.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Thank you. So the easiest thing to reach me would be to go to victoriavives.com, that is V-I-C-T-O-R-I-A-V-I-V-E-S.C-O-M. So that’s the best way where you can find my book and everything. If you want to get the free book that is going to help you to go from the shadow state, like feeling depleted, feeling in sexual shame, into going into sexual blooming, in a really ecstatic experience, then you can go to the same website victoriavives.com/divine. And my thought for today, if I can just share with you something is to really savor the day. We have these precious vehicles for our source to experience all this beauty that this earth has brought. So even if we can not go outside or wherever you are, just take a moment to breathe the air and feel that freshness and just enjoy your senses. Make that count. Sometimes, we are so trapped into our intellect, our work, but let’s just take that moment today.
Art Costello: What a way to end the show. I mean, this has been a great show. It’s been a pleasure having you on. I’m going to encourage my guests and encourage the audience to go out, get the book, support Victoria in any way you can, and she will change your life. She’ll put the smile that she has on her face on your face. She is a cutie.
Victoria Vives Khuong: Thank you so much. This has been such an honor to be in your show, it’s just such a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Art Costello: No, it’s been my honor having you. With that being said, everybody knows where they can get a hold of me, Art@expectationtherapy.com. My website is expectationtherapy.com. All of Victoria’s information will be on the show notes at Shower Epiphanies podcast on Facebook so look for the episode, it’ll be coming out soon. And with that being said, we’re going to let Heather White take us out of here. Thank you everybody, see you next week.
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